Vietnam (part one of a three part blog)

There are so many interesting things which have occurred in the past weeks that I feel my blog is a bit over due.  Since my last blog I have traveled to Vietnam and Malaysia with Cory, experienced my first Chinese New Year, and improved my Chinese quite a bit.  The beginning of the tale veils a hidden secret and conflict in my heart which has escalated to an awakening in my soul.  Due to the increased length of the blog I decided to write it in three parts:  Vietnam, Malaysia, and Spring Festival.  I hope this will introduce more perspectives on some of the incredible things that I have witnessed, felt, and experienced in the past few weeks.    

               The trip to Vietnam started off ominously enough as Cory and I had recently amended a quarrel.  It was the first time that such a situation occurred which caused both of us some caution in the future.    Overall, it was a good chance for both of us to work on some things which do not come easy for people.  Actions are actions and words are words.  Only through positive mediation can people hope to proceed past further obstacles and move forward.  In the end, I believe that both of us are better for sharing in a difficult situation and learning from it.

               January 2^nd was our scheduled day of departure which would signal an epic day of travel.  The overall travel time from Chongqing International Airport to Ho Chi Minh (HCMC) took eighteen hours.  When we finally arrived in Ho Chi Minh City it was already passed midnight Vietnam time.  The process for getting the Vietnamese visa was easy enough as we had both previously filled out all the proper documentation.  People often disregard thought to ponder things they have not experienced before.  After going through the time-consuming and sometimes frustrating visa process into China I can safely say that this was a much easier experience for me.  This was unfortunately not the case for a Canadian woman who failed to have the proper visa documentation.  The woman, obviously jet legged from her long journey continued to have problems getting her visa processed as Cory and I filled out some last clerical things.  Afterwards, we both headed down to the luggage carousel excited to have finally arrive in Vietnam and ready to start a new adventure. 

               Getting from the airport to our hostel was easy enough after we paid the nominal fee for the twenty-minute traffic free ride into HCMC.  I soon became nervous, as the un-marked taxi driver handed our luggage and motioned vaguely as to the direction of our hostel which looked no more than a back alley.  Walking with Cory at two a.m. through a maze of alleys in obviously lost would have been a nightmare for anyone.  Luckily, we were able to locate the hostel in only a couple minutes; however, the door was barred closed which left me wondering if traveling to Vietnam was a good idea after all.  Fortunately, Cory located a door bell hidden ominously inside the steal wired hostel gate which awoke two very old and tired employees.

               The next morning, I awoke eagerly awaiting my first glimpses of HCMC in day light.  The previous morning’s trip from the airport left a very blurred image of the city as I was trying my best to remain awake from the day’s travel.  From the car, I could still tell that HCMC was a place much less-developed than the booming Chinese cities I had visited this summer with my parents.  I believed quite quickly that it may be a lot less easy getting around here than I had previously hoped.

               I am glad that first impressions do not often tell a person the whole story because what I saw greatly astonished me.  I had entered an area which I soon realized was surrounded by the greatest number of foreigners I had seen at one time since being in the United States.  I was extremely shocked to hear most of the local people speaking English easily as they attempted to sell something to any foreigner who would listen.  I happened to be such a target as I became barraged from every possible corner. 

As I was without sun glasses in the mid-eighty degree weather, and engulfed with sunshine I realized that purchasing sunglasses was a pretty good idea.  I later would discover that I paid almost double for this first purchase than I could have bargained for if I knew the territory better.  I was a first mistake that I think a lot of foreigners will make when they enter a place with a very different culture.  I vowed that it would be a learning experience and the last time I got ripped-off buy local standards.  In reality, I was able to buy the sunglasses for about four dollars U.S.D which is something that no person can complain about I think.  At the same exact time I was asked by a flock of vendors if I wanted to hop on a motorcycle, take a rickshaw, tour of the city in a van, go to the Mekong Delta, or have message.  As I concluded my purchase, I left the vendors in the nick of time as a man started trying to use a toothbrush to clean my dirty shoes with before I could usher him away. 

               However, captivating my first sale’s vendor experience was it did not distract my attention away from the streets of HCMC.  From the moment a person stepped into plan site of the streets a mass of buzzing motorcycles came to greet them.  Only the brave travelers are able to muster up the courage to cross an intersection as they try to acclimate themselves to a world without cars.  I have been to Rome before which is infamous for having the most motorcycles in Europe.  Even with this experience in Europe and living China I realized that I too felt nervous around the bikers, scooters, and motorcycles racing through the city.  I soon learned that HCMC has over five million motorcycles in the city with roughly ten million inhabitants or about one bike for every two people.

               The first day in HCMC was spent visiting different sites which Cory and I had previously researched as being cannot miss landmarks.  The first stop on the list was the Ben Than market.  It was incredibly crowded and filled with all sorts of cheap goods for sale.  Believe me, if a person wanted to get some type of cheap knock-off product in Vietnam this was the best place to do it.  Crowds of foreign tourists walked through a maze of tightly enclosed selling stalls encouraging a feeling of claustrophobia for the unaccustomed onlooker.  The market itself is canvassed by a roof which is a godsend as the sun in Vietnam is penetrating even during the winter months.  Cory and I would pass through these stalls several days buying little trinkets for friends, family, and gifts and personal mementos.

               Next we visited the perspective opening “War Remnants” museum which included weapons, armaments, and exhibits depicting the toil of the Vietnam War on the people.  I left feeling a little woozy in my stomach after seeing the effects of Agent Orange and other devastating weapons of destruction.  The size and mass of weapons used during the war by the United States troops rendered an image of incredible destruction as entire villages are still left with the physical scars of war.  The country will take much longer I believe to heal from some of the mental scars as people still in their lifetimes can easily recount the terror of seeing the damage of Agent Orange, napalm, and other weapons.

I have come to realize that war is the province of men who wish to gain something in order to improve their lot in life.  It may start from an ideal, a problem, a hate, or fear; however, in the end there is usually also an extrinsic reward that pushes men to believe that their efforts are worth risking their life.  May it be glory, power, or wealth victors easily fall victim to the spoils of war.  I have purposefully left out a female comparison as to the fact that I do not know of many female leaders who have taken to war in such an extreme manners as males have.

The difference between the magnanimous victor and the man looking for revenge is merely one personality trait; nevertheless, that characteristic may lead to drastically different results as a nation looks to rebuild in the aftermath of war.  The United States was very lucky in deed to have such incredibly moral leaders during its national infancy.  George Washington was one such man would have liked nothing better than to have retired in peace at Mount Vernon never again to rest in the spotlight.   Nonetheless, he could not refuse the nation’s call for him to lead as the first President of the United States.  His leadership helped the dream of democracy come true in earnest as a young U.S. worked hard to develop into a model nation.

 In war can a person blame one another more for their crimes?  Certainly everyone recognizes the war crimes after the fact; however, in the heat of battle those things are not at the forefront of a soldier’s mind as they try to save all that they can.  War is the ultimate gamble in morality as a person’s simple aim is destroy all life in the way.  War has echoed these effects throughout time as every nation and people have at some time felt the sting of loss as its youth going to fight and die during war.  That is why it is so important for people to learn from experience who have never experienced the devastating results of war.

After visiting harrowing reminders from the past Cory and I solemnly discussed the museum together on our way back to our hostel.  Hungry from a day’s worth of traveling Cory and I decided to eat at the first restaurant we could find that would serve us some western food.  It was surprisingly easy for us to find one such place near our hostel.  It remains interesting that Vietnam’s communist regime which tried to remove South Vietnam from western culture has opened up to as much as they have in only a few decades.   Any tourist could eat any style of meal wanted as an assortment of western, eastern, and international cuisine restaurants existed.  Cory and I relished in the fact that we were able to eat any type of food that was not Chinese as we had both been without much variety for many months.  Over the next three days in HCMC, I discovered that my favorite traditional Vietnamese food was the spring rolls.  The taste of this dish was complemented by a hot sauce which combined to make a wonderful and flavorful appetizer.

The next day started early as we prepared for our trip to visit the Chu Chi tunnel network nearby HCMC.  Our four dollar tickets included entrance to the tunnel exhibit, bus ride, English tour guide, and a taste of the local food.  I can say it was safely the best four dollars I have ever spent in my life.  Towards the end of the tour I took the opportunity to fire a real M16 assault rifle which was pretty intense.  The noise around me was so loud that I could barely hear for a while after leaving the public firing range.  Cory and I also decided to climb through the tunnels which were so small that any person needed to literally walk squatting to use them.

I was extremely impressed with the tour and believe that I learned quite a lot about the ingenuity of the Vietcong.  I can honestly say that no number of soldiers, bombs, or technology could have destroyed the Vietcong.  The will to defeat the enemy was extreme as the tunnel network was over ninety miles long.  These tunnels were built over several decades as the Vietcong first fought for liberation from French colonialism.  The Chu Chi network had entrances in HCMC, an American military base, and the Mekong River.  If anyone thinks that the United States did not try hard enough to beat the Vietcong than I would ask them to come to the tunnels and see the thousands of bomb craters remaining in the jungle. 

The Vietcong built three levels of tunnels which they lived, organized, and planned in.  The B-52 bombers were able to drop bombs large enough that would destroy the first level of the underground tunnels.  Nevertheless, the second and third levels easily remained intact as some tunnels would reach depths nearly sixty ft. below the surface of the ground.  The Vietcong were also cautious and would not leave their tunnels for months at times in order to not be discovered by U.S. patrols.  They developed an air filtration system which confused the U.S. patrols by placing their entrances near inconspicuous ant and snake holes.  After a few years, the U.S. tried to flood the tunnels with water which did nothing as the downward sloping angle flowed the water harmlessly into rivers and streams.

I definitely felt strange in a place where so many of the local people held differing levels of resentment towards Americans.  It was an unassuming feeling of contempt which I could feel directed towards me.  Contempt was only shown through mostly non-verbal actions which I believe to be special in many Asian cultures.  Much of the people’s grief from the past has been stored away deep in their hearts and left to be legacies of grief.  I felt some of their contempt, sadness, and grief mostly in the way some people stared at me.  It is a little different feeling than I get when people stare at me in China.  Knowing that Americans caused so much pain for many people affected me in different ways while in Vietnam.  I know that I am not responsible for what happened to them but I too believe that as an American I hold a higher moral code for in order to spread good values throughout the world.  Unfortunately, mostly negative values were spread to the Vietnamese people during the war.

The next day, Cory and I were up and excited to experience the Mekong River delta guided tour package costing seven U.S. dollars.  The tour started off well as we meet up with other tour groups and headed off to the delta.  When going to the Mekong River delta it is important to plan ahead by bringing necessary supplies, medication, and lots of water. Cory and I both came prepared with proper medication to prevent the contraction of malaria.  Still, I was glad that my mom had sent me with some extra-strong mosquito repellent which would hopefully scare away any extra bugs.

When our tour bus finally arrived at our final destination I was happy to be able to be able to relieve myself in the restroom.  Before going to the delta I discovered that it was going to extremely hot that day and I did not want to take any chances with heat exhaustion.  Consequently, I drank a lot of water and came well hydrated in order to try and prevent heat exhaustion.  After suffering a couple spells of heat exhaustion last summer I was especially careful the entire trip to make sure I was drinking enough water.  Due to the unhealthy sanitary conditions I used mostly bottled drinking water throughout the trip.

Our tour would begin with a boat ride across the delta to an island village.  I was struck by the fact that this was the first time that I had been on a boat ride since the summer of 2010 in Minnesota.  Being in Chongqing last summer did not allow for me to enjoy a nice cool summer on the shores of Big Trout Lake.  With this knowledge in the back of my head I used the experience to really help me remember the beauty of a slow boat ride across an open expanse of water. 

Our first island stopping point enabled people to watch a local industry produce hand-made candies.  Cory and I both enjoyed the fresh delicacies and purchased some of the local flavor as our tour guide explained the inner workings of the candy processing.  The processing and distribution center resembled a shack with a roof were people worked under in order to escape the sun.     

Next our tour group had the opportunity to hold a python snake.  I balked at this chance as I have always had a visceral dislike of snakes.  Instead, I snapped some pictures of Cory holding the snake seemingly indifferent and enjoying the experience.  The snake itself was quite mild as it allowed his handler to put its face in the man’s mouth even.  In reality, I am sure that everything would have been fine.  In my mind, I had not come prepared to do this thing and had not yet overcome my fear of snakes at this time.  Little did I know that I would soon have another opportunity to hold a live snake in only a couple of days.

Our tour next took us on a horse drawn cart ride to a next village down the road.  It was the first time that I had been on a horse for many years and enjoyed the ride immensely.  At the end of the town we boarded a next boat that took us to our lunch destination for the day.  At this island we enjoyed some of the local food and watched Vietnamese children on vacation tease alligators in a fenced in enclosure.  The children seemed very curious of the foreign tour groups but did not stop to interrupt their daily natural teasing and antics.  Some groups walked nearby starring at people but overall they were less enamored with us than the Chinese children I have encountered in Rongchang.

After lunch we boarded our boat and moved on to a new island were we tasted some local honey and rice wine.  Afterwards, we took a scenic hand-rowed water raft ride through a small jungle inlet in the island.  This was one of my favorite parts of the whole trip as we rowed silently through the jungle surrounded by palm trees and elephant grass.  I was struck by how quite it could be in the jungle even with some many people very nearby. 

We disembarked our raft and headed towards another small village where special traditional Vietnamese performances were held for tourists.  Local women and men dressed in formal traditional attire performed beautiful Vietnamese music.  The high shrilled voices and multi tonal Vietnamese language created a sound that was both mystical and foreign for me.  I enjoyed the couple performances and felt that it was extremely interesting even though I would not enjoy listening to that type of music all day long.

The performances were the last part of the delta tour package which left Cory and I extremely pleased with the day’s adventure.  That night we would get back and enjoy some of the HCMC nightlife.  Cory and I were both surprised at the extreme amount of foreign catering that HCMC had to offer.  Beer from all around the world was available at cheap HCMC prices as well as liquor.  If the alcohol had variety so did the people because Cory and I would drink with people from Sweden, Australia, Russia, Ireland, New Zealand, Holland, and England.  It was certainly this most eclectic group of foreigners I had even met in such a short period of time in my life.

The next day Cory and I would spend making some last minute purchases in order to get some nice and cheap gifts for friends and family.  Saying goodbye to HCMC was going to be tough for me as it definitely was one of the most interesting places I had ever been in my lifetime.  Cory felt similarly as we both wondered how Malaysia would compare to our first portion of the trip.

Walking around HCMC, I was surprised to see that certain places in the city seemed eerily similar to China’s modernized cities.  I cannot help to wonder what is happening to the poor of these modernizing places of the world.  Driving along the road to the Chu Chi tunnels and the Mekong River delta illustrates pictures of extreme poverty as most people make a living as day laborers harvesting rice.  I was surprised to learn on the trip that Vietnam was the world’s second largest producer of rice in the world.  Likewise, an agrarian lifestyle has been a staple of Vietnamese society for centuries making farmers and integral part of their society.  With this knowledge in mind, I felt a little out of place walking down streets with fashion designer apparel from across the Europe and the United States.  HCMC is a city in great change as it becomes more and more modernized in a western fashion.

The next morning Cory and I packed up our luggage and boarded a plane headed for Malaysia.  Both excited and a little sad to leave Vietnam, I looked forward to the next leg in an incredible journey.  I was unfortunately noticing the tell tale signs of a cold catching up to me.  Two nights in a row of drinking was catching up to me as my body was struggling to try and adjust to the incredible change of weather from Chongqing in the winter.  The fifty degree weather change and stop-until you drop trip planning was starting to take a little toil on my body.  It also was not going to help that I was going to be in an airplane which is like a germ-incubation factory.

End Part One      

   

Ending of fall semester, Christmas, and more!

The recent happenings in my life have reaffirmed my belief that it is important to remain true to your moral values even when times get tough in life.  Often times, I believe that it is not a single event which can elicit a response which goes against your moral fiber.  I also believe that in most situations people would decide not to react in a morally objectionable way if they were given the chance to think their action’s through.  Rather, I feel that the daily grind of life corrosively wears away a person’s beliefs at which point they become weak to any number of moral depravities.  As I have come to understand the way my mind functions I believe that sometimes I over analyze a situation to my own demise.  The danger lies in putting a value statement on morals in comparison to other factors which ultimately decide an outcome.  A+B does not always = C, and in this case because morals are not something which should ever be calculated into a situation’s outcome.  The morals of a person should dictate the situation more than the other variables and remain resolute even when times get tough.  From thinking about my own moral dilemmas I stumbled upon the idea of a world based off of a moral code.

I often wonder about how a world based off of morality would look like.  If a person were to be judged based off of their moral fabric would the world be a better place to live in?   Problems would certainly arise as is the case with anything designed by humans.  If morality was to be the judge of a person’s position in society than a whole new list of issues would develop.  Someone or something of course would need to be the judge of this morality system.  Would the judge be a single person or an institution?  Would an appointment of religious leaders or presidents decide what was morally acceptable?   I believe that a “morality scale” would need to be created for people to be able to judge their own morality.  Thus, people would soon create a new hierarchy to measure the most successful or in this case, moral people.  Of course, some people would take advantage of the new system and others would argue that morality was too ambiguous of a manner to govern society itself.  If everyone went around doing things that their conscience told them was right than the entire foundation of society would change.  Governments, prisons, and business as they exist today might operate completely different which would anger those already in power in the current system.  In my heart I would like to think that the world would be a better place even if my head tells me that it might not be.  I think people would find a much more equalitarian world to live in; however, I too know that not everyone values moral intentions like I do.     

My frugality with spending money has caused my conscience to be quite flustered lately.  I am perpetually afraid of anything to do with money since I am really living off of a limited salary here in China.  The increased tension from not knowing how the future will work with limited funding has negatively altered my personality at times recently.  My heightened fears were exacerbated by China’s lassiez-faire manner of handling deadlines.  By not knowing that I would be going to Vietnam and Malaysia until a week and a half ago I truly had my anxiety meter on high lately.

Fortunately, an important realization came to me yesterday and some of my fears have receded since.  I can choose to be fearful of the unknown or to simply let it come at me in stride.  I want to choose the latter since I know that in either case I cannot control my fate.  No person on earth is clairvoyant, and I would never ask to have the foresight to know my own life destiny if I could.  Life is a great mystery which delivers life lessons daily.  Only after being hit by the same lesson several (or in my case) many times can we truly learn from the experiences of life itself.  If I consider all of the troubles that develop in life I will merely find myself always coming up with compelling reasons not to do anything at all.  The only true way to have worthwhile experiences is to try new things in life even if you think you “might” be making a mistake at times.   

From taking this approach at times in life I have found many things appealing to me which I never imagined before.  I know that I will never regret coming to China and experiencing all of the things which I have here.  If I merely decided to “play it safe” like I usually have in life I would have missed out in some of the greatest moments in my life.  The only piece of advice for restraint comes from my deep moral fiber.  I truly believe that all new novel experiences are wonderful except those which cause you to sacrifice your personal morals. 

I wanted to approach the question of “fear” besides the fact that it plays a great role in my own decision-making process.   The subject was brought to the forefront through a conversation I had with another American while staying in Chongqing for Christmas last weekend.  This person came from a pro peace background by citing herself as both a Vietnam and Iraq War protestor.  She also discussed the idea that “fear” in the lives of everyday Americans reached a whole new level during the presidency of George W. Bush.  Besides her clearly liberal and equalitarian background I reflected that she had some interesting points regarding the rising fear in the lives of Americans today.  Questions from; “will I have my job tomorrow”, and “where is the money to pay my bills going to come from”, to “how can I pay for my son’s/daughter’s tuition”, and “is my savings money at risk of being lost from another market meltdown” are all valued concerns today.

Some of the parallel effects of fear are that many people are unable to find time to think on their own creatively.  I find this reality a devastating blow to the ingenuity which has allowed so many cultures to admire Americans.  As many Americans seek a brief release from their endless fears the desire to be entertained increases.  People find themselves using a higher ratio of their free time watching television, movies, and surfing the internet.  I fear a society which does not spend some of their time thinking about people outside of their everyday lives.  Since people will not change in their love of entertainment and media agencies will not change in the mindless content they promote I fear a decline in America may be inevitable if the current situation is not remedied soon.

I have found that by living in China I have enjoyed more time to think on my own creatively.  This is partially a systematic difference between China and the United States due to the fact that people take afternoon naps, play cards, or often drink tea together while on the job.  The daily “xiuxi” or “rest” period lasts two and a half hours causing traffic and daily life to almost come to a standstill at times as people enjoy their free time.  The other factor lies in the working situation I have found myself in with Southwest University.   My lax schedule and teaching responsibilities allow me the ability to spend a lot of time pursuing the questions that I have pondered much of my life.  The result is that I truly have a much better idea of who I am as a person.  This reflects my longing to allow other people to have an opportunity to experience some of the groundbreaking discoveries I have had in my own life.  I know that many people do not seek this sort of reflective experience.  I can only comment on the joy which has come from my own personal journey.  That is not to say that everything has been rosy.  A lot of times people deflect many thoughts in order to help justify things in life at which they cannot control.  Other times people keep parts of them locked as far inside as they can in the hope that they will never again come back to their conscious mind.  The journey into the mind can be sometimes grim even if it is redeeming.

 The last few weeks of teaching this winter helped me to appreciate having fellow foreign English teachers in Rongchang.  The attendance level of many of my students dropped to only a few students a day.  Ali and Cory suffered from the same attendance lulls which made the decision to teach as a team an easy one.  The combined three classes’ worth of students and teachers helped everyone by reinvigorating the teachers and introducing new viewpoints for the students.  The students who continued to come enjoyed the last classes as we altogether discussed American Christmas traditions.  It helped to have three different teachers telling students about their own personal holiday traditions.  Chinese students were surprised to hear that not everyone celebrates the holidays in a similar fashion or are Christian in the United States.  Ali’s wonderful powerpoint presentation which included an unbelievable amount of information on Christmas was a big hit for our students.  Cory and I helped to add in points of interest at appropriate times as we concluded our last class.  Afterwards, students listened to a couple of Christmas songs on the computer which they found interesting and exciting for a time.

At the end of the week student were invited to a formal American Christmas celebration held by the foreign teachers.  Each teacher made sure to tell their students to come and attend the party.  In preparation for the party, Ali, Cory, and I, went to the most modern super market to buy food, drinks, supplies, and Christmas decorations.  Interestingly, Christmas is one of the only western holidays to be recognized in China.  Therefore, an ample amount of Christmas ornaments, Santa hats, and decorations were available for purchase.  Beforehand, we had permission from Mr. Tian to book two classrooms marked for studying to use as a place for hosting the party.  One room would feature a quick summary of Christmas culture in America, Christmas music, games, and refreshments.  The other room would feature the humorous movie, “Christmas Vacation” starring Chevy Chase.

The night of the party I was getting messages from unknown students looking forward to attend the event which seemed like a good sign.  At least thirty students showed up early to help in the arranging of desks, preparing of supplies, and provide general help in setting up the Christmas party.  It was a strong show of support from the student body to take time out of their busy schedules to help us prepare. 

By seven o’clock over one-hundred students were already in attendance.  Due to some technical difficulties with the computer in one room many students first started out watching the movie in the next door classroom.  Finally, the other computer was operating again which allowed us to introduce the powerpoint.  Next, we played Christmas music which the students seemed to enjoy.  The highlight of the entire night for both students and teachers was the performance of “Frosty the Snowman” by the foreign teachers.  Cory and Ali sang the lyrics to the song while I performed an “interpretive dance” as accompaniment to the singing.  Overall, it was a very entertaining experience for all involved as Ali and Cory stopped singing to laugh several times.

The night ended with Chinese students performing for a couple gifts here and there supplied by the foreign teachers.  Due the shame based culture which perpetuates Chinese culture we were unable to get any students to perform voluntarily.  Instead, a hat was passed around while listening to music until I stopped the song.  The person with the hat in their possession as the song ended was destined to perform our bow out gracefully.  The game’s aim was not based on drawing shame to students; rather, the rules were simply that a person could do as much or as little as they wanted in their performance.  Even the word performance was very loosely construed as to allow for even a magic show demonstration.  Most of the students chose to sing a few lines from an English song they knew.  The highlight for me was one of the magic performances a group of three male students performed using me as a prop. 

After the performances we decided that it was time to call it a night.  The always willing to help Chinese students assisted in all forms of cleaning up which saved us a lot of time.  Overall, the Christmas party was a great success.  The only aggravating thing was that I was asked to take so many pictures with students that my face muscles actually become sore by the end of the night. 

From discussing Christmas with some of the Chinese students I learned that many people enjoy giving apples to each other on Christmas.  The word for apple is “ping guo” which is very similar to the word for health “ping an”.  People in China have been giving apples to friends and family during the Christmas season to wish those around them good health in the upcoming year.  Otherwise, many people in China know very little about what the exact meaning of Christmas is in our culture.  I would later find that out during my Christmas trip to Chongqing that next week.

The next week was a momentous one for Cory and I as we finally got our tickets for our trip to Vietnam and Malaysia arranged and paid for.  It would take me until this week to finally pay-off my balance as I was awaiting my December pay from Southwest.  By knowing that things would finally be coming true we really spent some time hammering out the details of the trip together.  After looking up some of the things which we wanted to do together we decided on a rough itinerary.  We are planning to spend four days in Vietnam and seven days in Malaysia.  Looking at the two locations also alluded to the need to get some extra medications in order to protect ourselves from malaria.  With the help of Mr. Tian I was able to get my last Hepatitis A vaccination along with a prescription of doxycycline to prevent malaria.

A trip into Chongqing would be needed in order to get these necessary pieces of medical protection for myself.  Due to the fact that both Ali and Cory were also running low on western food and supplies they decided to accompany me into Chongqing on a day trip which would include a stop at our favorite place in China, Metro.  The Metro chain stores are similar to that of Costco or Sam’s Club in the United States.  They allowed all three of us to have a little bit of home as we were about to experience a Christmas without family and friends. 

During this trip we also accompanied Mr. Tian to help him look at several cars as he is now in the market to buy his first car since Brian, his son, is now a licensed driver.  As foreigners in the store we experienced great fanfare from the staff.  The best English speaking employee was asked to take care of us and offered us a variety of refreshments.  Afterwards, Mr. Tian invited us to a delicious feast at our favorite restaurant in Rongchang.  The trip began at one p.m. in the afternoon and lasted until we arrived home from dinner at 8:30 p.m. in the evening.  Overall, it was the first time that Cory or I had driven in a car for more than ten minutes since September; therefore, we did not mind the day’s protracted nature even as I secretly lamented missing exercising this day.

Friday the 23^rd of December, Cory and I embarked on a planned Christmas trip to Chongqing.  This trip was going to be special for several reasons.  First, it was going to be our first trip back to Chongqing on our own since September.  Second, it was going to be an opportunity for us to see our great friends, Jack and Lance.  Fortunately, Cory and I were going to be in time to say goodbye to Lance as he would soon embark on his great adventure studying abroad in California.  The last reason for me was that I really needed a change in scenery.  I still enjoy my time in Rongchang immensely; however, the lack of other foreign friends and items is disheartening at times even with my close friends here in Rongchang.

This trip was an opportunity to really experience Christmas with some interesting Chinese twists to it.  Our afternoon on the 23^rd was uneventful as Cory was still working through a bad sinus infection.  Therefore, we basically went to grab some dinner and came back to enjoy the finale to the Harry Potter saga movies.  For both of us this was a treat as my parents sent them to me with my Christmas package a few weeks ago.  Gearing up for a fun night with our friends Jack and Lance the next morning was on our minds as we slept well at the Yangtze River hostel.

Walking around the Jiefengbai area on Christmas Eve was an incredible experience for me.  The large quantity of lights and Christmas ornaments decorations throughout the district contributed to the aesthetic quality of the area nicely.  It was an extremely entertaining afternoon watching the people preparing to celebrate Christmas Eve.  I was about to learn that Chinese culture really has very little understanding of what the western meaning of Christmas is.  Many shop owners were selling large inflatable bats, devil ears, Santa hats, and an assortment of carnival snacks.  I even saw a small child carrying around cotton-candy, something which I did not believe existed in China before that time.

               While walking around together, Cory and I ran into two English teachers in Beibei we had met at the Chongqing reception in September.  It was great to be accompanied by two other Americans who both had studied at Saint John’s University.  As we talked together a sensation to be teaching and living in Beibei entered my thoughts as I pondered the incredible opportunities for me to learn Chinese there with other foreigners.  Certainly, I have been considering many alternatives in my future as has Cory.  I am impressed with my ability to learn Chinese quickly and on my own; however, I really would like to experience learning Chinese with other foreigners.  In my past, I have found that I am very good in a classroom environment and feel that I could flourish in a classroom full of enthusiastic learners.

               The evening of the 24^th of December included an interesting celebration at the stroke of midnight.  People crowded around the Jiefengbai clock tower in anticipation of the strike of the bell.  The greatest amount of angry looking riot police I have ever seen in China awaited the crowd of eager and a little inebriated large crowd of people.  Once the bell stroke midnight people went at each other with their large inflated bats.  It was an incredible sight to see so many people excited in this physical sort of manner since Chinese culture does not promote this type of contact.  With the riot police being on hand to break apart larger groups of people the night ended uneventfully for most people.

  Unfortunately, one of our Beibei colleagues was not as lucky as he reacted on a push from an unseen policeman.  This would place him at odds with the Chinese police which proceeded to escort the unlucky assailant to jail.  I am sure that this Christmas Eve will be one in which an unbelievable story will continue on the annual recalling of the event in mention!  The next morning he was released on bail and personally okay.  He even received a text message of, “Merry Christmas” from one of his police cell-guards on Christmas afternoon.

               The rest of the night went down as one of great merry-making between our group of four friends; I, Cory, Jack, and Lance.  After dinner, we went to a Chinese barbecue located very near some late night entertainment.  All in all, it was a great way to celebrate the season together and say goodbye to our great friend, Lance.

               Christmas morning was one of slow convalescence as many people in the hostel were looking to recover from the past evening’s excitement.  Christmas afternoon included recounting our adventures with other foreigners in the hostel together.  That evening Cory and I made a stop to our favorite western-style restaurant for dinner.  Cory and I always enjoy our stops at “Suzie’s Pizza”, which is one of the most sought after eateries for foreigners in Chongqing.  Suzie is always very welcoming to me whenever I come and visit her restaurant.  As a single wage-earner she embarked on a mission to start her small restaurant from within her own apartment.  Only a few years ago she would use her bed as a dinner table for guests.  As business has since flourished, she is now able to move into a second apartment to live in addition to remodeling her apartment-restaurant.     

               The crowd always includes a healthy amount of foreigners looking to spend some time together and enjoy the amazing food.  Upon entering the small restaurant, Cory and I were offered some eggnog from an American foreign teacher named Jeff.  On several occasions before I have spoken to Jeff regarding a variety of topics.  During the evening we were introduced to some of Jeff’s foreign and Chinese friends.  The restaurant featured soft background music as accompaniment to our conversations.  Overall, it was an extremely satisfying way to celebrate Christmas Day even though we were both missing family and friends back in America.  The rest of the evening was spent walking around Shapingba district together as we enjoyed our first Dairy Queen since last summer.

P.S.  Wishing everyone a wonderful holiday season and New Years back home in the United States!

Best,

E.K.

                 

    

Up-to-date again! 68th birthday celebration, Shogun, students, language, etc

My Thanksgiving Day celebration that I had planned to indulge on with Cory has been postponed several times.  I had felt quite torn as to what I wanted to do for this festival.  Knowing that the best parts of Thanksgiving were celebrating with family I realized the obvious void which had been created by the space which separated us.  The importance of holding onto true memories came into place again as I was extremely pleased to be able to remember many Thanksgiving festivals completely in my mind’s eye.  I was even able to almost taste the food exactly as I had tasted in so many times before. 

Cory and I had the honor of attending recently a sixty-eight year old Professor’s birthday party.  I was incredibly aware of the importance which this celebration entailed by the specific arrangements prepared by the hosts.  In Chinese culture, the host pays for everyone else on their birthday.  As Cory and I neared the hotel entrance we were greeted by over twenty prior students, classmates, and friends of the host.  It was an incredible honor to have so many friends, family, and students at this birthday party.  In all, there must have been over fifty people in attendance.  The meal itself was as good as I have tasted in China.  There were more dishes prepared than previously I had seen as well as a massive four-tiered cake which was perfectly presented in the front of the dining room.

The entire dining hall was booked and left for only the guests of the host family.  Only hotel waiters and waitresses were allowed into provide refreshments and food.  The refreshments included a bottle of sweet tea, rice-based herbal tea, beer, and baijiu.  Water is never provided for at meals unless previously requested.

The food included wonderful assortments of meats dishes with vegetables.  There must have been fifteen different dishes served at each table.  Every time I eat out at a traditional Chinese meal I feel as if I was eating at a buffet style restaurant for all the variety of food served at the table.  It is always such a treat for me to be able to try an incredible variety of meats and vegetables at every meal.

The ceremony itself included many formal toasting to the host and his health.  Everything from the color, shape, and design of the birthday ornaments covering the dining hall held important meaning.  The Chinese character on the birthday banners were written in traditional not simplified Chinese characters. 

After many formal speakers came up to wish the host great health; singing began from the guests in a karaoke style manner.  People were pressured to sing as they consumed greater amounts of liquor.  Many formal pictures were taken throughout the ceremony as well as the videotaping of the celebration.  The pictures were very traditionally documented in Chinese fashion along with the pomp and pageantry associated with important birthdays.

I was honored by the guest to give a little speech in front of the guests.  I obliged and did my best to honor him using English and Mr. Tian as an interpreter.  On any other occasion I would have used Chinese; however, I felt that the situation merited a direct and fluent translation and not my attempt to show respect to the Chinese language.

This ceremony as much as anything reiterates to me the importance of ceremony in Chinese culture even today.  To forget how ancient and respected Chinese culture is in China would be a big mistake.  I was greatly honored to share in this meal as was Cory.

Living in Chinese society has the taught me the value of patience in a whole new manner.  My apartment now has a broken window, television set, and bedroom light.  Cory’s apartment’s bathroom almost collapsed on him from a leak through the roof which has hindered him for about a month now.  Cory and I have still been unable to get our flights booked yet for S.E. Asia even as we have been trying to get Mr. Tian’s niece to help us for over two months now.  It is strange to think about how something can be finished over night in the United States and take literally weeks or months to do in China.

I have been voraciously reading through the novel, “Shogun” which is based on Japanese culture in the 17^th century.  I have learned quite a bit about a culture in which I had many predisposed beliefs about.  I know much now about Shinto, bushido, Buddhism, etc.  I have also learned how incredibly corrupt some Jesuits, sailors, samurai, priests, etc were during this period of history.  I think one of the most revealing things for me was how the main character, “Blackthorne” was forced to really compare European and Japanese culture against one another as he found his love for “Mariko” growing in him.  I found that at that time there was much to be desired in Europe such as, the filthy cities, pollution, religious wars, Ottoman invaders, plague, etc.  In Japan, there were also many detestable things like murdering for pleasure, samurai, assassins, etc.  However, Japanese culture promoted things like religious tolerance during a time of religious confrontation in Europe.  Even if the main reason for such tolerance was that Jesuits priests acted as intermediaries between Japan and foreigners. 

Today, western culture has taken many things from Japanese culture such as the importance of staying clean.  In Europe, bathing was extremely uncommon for people due to their belief that bathing hurt a person’s health.  Japanese culture also promoted clean cities; whereas, European cities were detestably foul in the 17^th century.  Japanese culture was also extremely open in the forms of sexuality during this time period compared with European views on the body, sex, etc.  Women in Japanese culture held an incredibly important position as they took care of all the financial burdens of the household.  They were important advisors to the men as well as physically able to offer combat as some where samurai as well.

There are many clear examples also where Japanese culture honored things which were incredibly revolting, such as the sanctity of life itself.  Death was ritualized in a manner in which the lust of killing and battle was found extremely preferably to life itself.  Shame and honor were the two greatest pieces of Japanese culture which I have learned from so far.  Their importance today I am sure is still very crucial in understanding Japanese society today.  In the novel, a person will commit instant seppuku if they feel that they have betrayed their honor or shamed themselves beyond hope of repair.

The last piece I found incredibly interesting was that the author referred to samurai as having three hearts.  The samurai have one heart for their men, another for their family, and a last one secret to only their inner self.  After reading this and thinking about it some time I believe that most people have this three-tiered heart as well today.  I believe that most people are not true to and keep their inner heart trapped away from anyone who is actually willing to help.  It is important I think to sometimes let go of that inner heart to open yourself up to the possibility that someone can actually make that difference in your life.

    

A backlogged and forgotten blog... still illuminating I hope!

Sunday morning came upon me abruptly as I was jolted out of a nice morning’s dream from a phone call.  Mr. Tian voice announced that both Cory and I were invited to interview a special student looking to study in the United States next year.  We were both asked to communicate with him and write recommendations on his behalf  to complement his high test scores.  Upon arriving at the beautiful and traditionally decorated tea house we were both introduced to the prospective student’s parents.  Mr. Tian also had some special high school classmates with him who were mutual friends of the family.  As the parents began chatting Cory and I began our interview.

We discovered that not only was this student quite intellectually gifted but also had an impressive English vocabulary.  His worldview was quite interesting also as we asked him to explain why he wished to study in the United States to receive a master’s degree.  His answer was simple and yet profound for its impact on me remains as I am writing today.  He wished to come to the United States to learn some new ideas and perspectives of the world.  He expressed his love for his country, but he also expressed a rare desire to take some unique ideas learned abroad to promote efficiencies in China.  When I talk to Chinese students about studying abroad they often express a desire to experience American culture, find freedom, or a variety of other more scripted responses.  I have never heard a student so eloquently state that exchanging ideas was the most important reason for studying abroad.

I found it incredibly fascinating that I shared many of this student’s initiatives when I came to China.  I find it reassuring that there are other people who also care about learning from other cultures.  Promoting transparency and openness to learn with other cultures is the only way to true cultural awareness.  If I came disingenuously to China I know that I too would have been part of the problem and not solution.  Still, I know that this hope of mine is important and relevant today.  In a world filled with war, death, famine, etc it is those who that continue to work for a better tomorrow that matter.

A modern day example of this kind of tireless fight comes from the democratic activist Aung San Suu Kyi.  She continues to fight for the ability of free and transparent elections in a country dominated by a military regime for decades.  She continues to fight for change even while being under house arrest since 1989.  She was even denied the ability to see her husband in a foreign hospital for fear that the military would never let her re-enter Myanmar.  These are the kind of people who give strength to me when I start to feel like things are not going well in my life.  I think it is always important to be able to look up to people who promote ethical values regardless of who they are.  

I made an observation while reading the wonderfully interesting novel, “Shogun” the other day that I thought I would share with you all.  While reading Shogun it dawned on me that western cultures value time so much more than eastern cultures do.  Shogun is written about Japan in the late 17^th century; nonetheless I think I can find some correlational similarities between other Asian cultures.  In my experience, people in China could really care less about making solid plans for the future.  I believe this to reflect in part the importance of Buddhism on eastern cultures.  If a person is going to be reborn anyways what is the rush to get this life over with anyways?  I have often received very passive responses from people when I try to get things moving forward and details made regarding the future.

For example, Cory and I are planning on traveling to South East Asia following the end of the fall semester here in China.  Mr. Tian’s niece has been working to try and get us a ticket for S.E. Asia for over two months with no success.  The reason why?  Apparently tickets have not yet been pre-arranged for the trip we wished to take.  As frustrating as this can be at times Cory and I actually were very lucky to have such a protracted delay.  We had decided that we wanted to travel to Malaysia, Thailand, and Vietnam this winter.  Thailand is suffering the worst flooding in fifty years right now which has caused us to forgo Thailand, unfortunately.  However, we both feel fortunate due to the fact that if we would have been in the States we would both have already had tickets months earlier making our situation even more precarious now that we would want to dump them…  karma perhaps?

Regardless, compared with eastern cultures people in the west have always been very concerned with time ever since the dawning of Christianity.  In Christianity, people feel that there one life is a complete gift and that they must not miss a second of it in order to take full advantage of it.  Some Christians are afraid of the consequences of their actions; whereas, others are just more concerned with having fun and avoiding work in this life.

In my experience the strangest manifestation of differences in time value is the two and a half hour siesta break which perpetuates Chinese culture.  The other day I was trying to set up a tennis match with a friend and she reminded me that she would not be able to play at one in the afternoon.  The reason?  Her tennis instructor who was going to play with us would be sleeping.  What college coach in America  would be talking a nap at one p.m. in the afternoon on a Tuesday?  I can think of none unless they were on vacation.

In the 21^st century technology, foreign politics, and an incredibly interconnected world has brought these two vast dichotomies of thought together.  I believe that in order to promote cultural understanding both ways of thought are going to need to find a way to work together.  That is one of the major reasons that I am here and I was reminded of it the other day by a new friend.

A message was left for me on Facebook the other day by a person looking to befriend me based only on my experiences in China.  She had noticed that I was messaging a friend using Chinese and was curious about my experiences in China.  During a pre-arranged Skype conversation I discovered that she was incredibly interested in finding a teaching job in China following graduation.  I learned that she had already been to China and just wanted to get some ideas and contacts regarding employment in China.  I was incredibly drawn by her passion and excitement.  I enjoyed laughing together regarding common experiences, ideas, and passion for China.  It was an overall re-affirming conversation for me to have at that time.  I have since become reinvigorated and driven to re commit myself to my goals in China.

One such goal has always been the creation of a comprehensive Chinese to English dictionary.  I have been spending a great deal of time on it recently and successfully added a great amount of information.  I was happy to have Cory’s wealth of knowledge and notes from his previous Chinese college courses to help me in this pursuit.  I have since added situational experiences and key words, phrases, and ideas to my dictionary.  Some of the concepts I have included are going to the restaurant, shopping, activities, feelings, expressions, verbs, animals, foods, plants, sports, buildings,vehicles, etc. 

One of the most interesting things that I can never underestimate is the importance of eating in Chinese culture.  I was told once that China is a “table” culture and I left wondering what exactly that meant.  I can safely say that after spending nine months here that I believe every word of it to be true.  Great decisions are constantly being made while in the midst of eating.  The importance of upholding proper table meal protocol is strictly enforced in these types of meals.  The guests are expected to sit on the left side of the host who sits facing the door.  On the host’s right side are close friends and family members.  In these types of meals there are quite a lot of libations being served.  The featured spirit is “baijiu” which is as fierce of liquor as “ever-clear”.  After a dozens of toasts from the host, guests, family members, etc only the fierce, brave, or clever are able to leave feeling level headed.  The food itself is quite delicious; however, the host continues to have food brought at an incredible rate even though maybe half of it will get eaten.  At all meals of this type of magnitude there are always leftovers.  In my experience, most meals have more food left un-eaten afterwards than the actual food consumed during the meal itself!

Business is decided and arranged during meals.  There is no traditional meeting setting such as we have back in the United States to negotiate deals.  All important meals will include business discussions where the final decision is a binding resolution sealed through a round of toasting.  I am certain that it is very wise to come prepared in these meals with exactly you need to say beforehand.  In my previous twenty-three years in America I have never seen as many formal meals end in almost drunken oblivion before.  As an outsider I try my best to only drink when supposed to.  My only real goal is to never get intoxicated in this type of setting even if it is the norm for many of the other guests.  In a worst case scenario, it is always better to have your wits about yourself especially in a foreign country.

In class recently we have been discussing different relationships and comparing them between the two cultures.  Overall, it has been a very good lesson and I have learned a lot more about Chinese culture by discussing with my students.  China is a guanxi culture which emphasizes maintaining specific relationships.  If you are able to build strong relationships with the right people you are cemented in your position forevermore.  Confucius’s role in Chinese culture is still very strong even today and the importance of honoring fililal relationships is incredibly important.  For example, the naming of new born children is still decided by the grandparents and not the maternal parents.  The new parents are only able to offer some choices for their kin to select from. 

I am sorry for the delay of this blog as I fogot to publish it a few weeks ago!

Best,

E.K.

Experiencing changes, Chinese culture, The "Real People", and future!

The difficulties associated with growing pains in life only come when a person encounters a situation in which they are forced to change.  Each person adapts to these changes over different rates of time.  Sometimes these changes come gradually and people have a lot of time to adapt to them in order to live.  In other times life through stone walls in front of you in which you are utterly paralyzed in front of.  Change is forced upon a person at such times in life.  My life has reached one such moment and it has caused me great pause for consideration.

After a few weeks of discussions I reached a contract extension offer from Southwest University.  In it I would commit to another year of teaching with the guarantee that I would be fully reimbursed for my airfare to the United States and back to China next summer.  After much deliberation I accepted it hoping that I would feel a sense of accomplishment and drive to continue my interesting experience living and teaching in Rongchang, China.  However, after adding the weight of losing possibly both Cory and Ali next year (Ali because she is not enjoying her experience in China) I have come to a realization that life would be difficult without a foreign presence here.  Also, Cory is quickly becoming a great friend of mine and the thought of losing him has forced upon me new ruminations.  These ruminations leave me with many options that I am currently thinking about.  They have also forced me to re examine my inner self.

I have always known that I am a different and unique person who has specific goals, values, and morals in what I place my faith in life.  Fortunately, living abroad has opened me up to the reality that things go certain ways in life in which we have no control over.  I know now that I can try my best, but will never be able to fit into Chinese society.  The one question which I know people are thinking in the back of their mind is: “why China in the first place?”  I felt then as I still do now that not one society has all of the right answers, and my Chinese history course professor, Richard Bohr, electrified me in choosing this off-the-beaten-path destination.  After eight months living here I can safely say that people in China are no more exempt from this vocational strain than I was while living in the United States.

I tried my very hardest to adapt to Chinese society, but found that even with the greatest attempts a person cannot hide who they are.  In my case, it was even more of a strain on my inner self because people judged me wholly on my outer American appearance.  People continually tell me how cool, handsome, tall, etc I am without really caring to get to know me as a person.  I found this to be another piece of Chinese cultural which is ephemeral in nature.  Chinese society puts so much self worth based on appearances that people who can barely afford to put their kids through school will try their best to have an iphone to impress people with.  This need for material status is another reason why the marriage between China and the United States will continue to grow in the next century. 

My soul was feeling quite empty in coming to China.  One thing I really wished and wanted to learn was how to find happiness in my vocational life.  Not the kind of short-sided happy feeling you get after a night of partying, but a lifelong realization that what you have done in life matters.

Know I would call the later a sense of fulfillment rather than happiness.  I was looking for the kind of fulfillment that Jean Valjean grasps at his dying bedside next to his beloved Cosette and Marius.  I was searching haphazardly in the United States to find this in some way, shape, or form.  My whole life through my time in college I thought I know where that path would lead me.  I thought I would find fulfillment from teaching high school students.  I realized pretty early on through my student-teaching experience that this longing would not be meet through teaching high school.  I was extremely frightened because I had placed all my life’s vocational value into a profession which left me feeling more frustrated than valued.

After analyzing the different cultures for the past eight months I believe that I have come up with a correlational point to measure both systems with.  I discovered that free will versus destiny was one foundational difference between the two cultures.  In China, people go to the schools in which they are fortunate enough to get into based upon test scores.  Either they get in or they become life-long workers, farmers, etc.  In high school, student test score decides if they can get into a college or university.  There is no student decision process, campus visiting, nor freedom in choosing a university to study in. 

If a student is fortunate enough to get into a college or university they will do their best to succeed in whatever major they are given to study.  I have a student in Rongchang who I am currently working on his graduate application for studying in the United States.  From talking with him I gathered that he never once wanted to be a biological science major in college.  He always wished to study literature and be liberal arts major.  Due to cultural expectations in China liberal arts are looked down upon heavily as a field of study.  Therefore, he took the advice of his high school teacher and decided to study bio sciences.

After a student finishes the major in which they were chosen for they will enter a job using a very complex system of guanxi relationships.  If that person is lucky enough to know people in the industry in which they are applying into they will get that job.  It does not really matter how well they earned their marks in school.  Guanxi relationships have modeled Chinese society ever since the dawn of Confucius teachings.  Filial piety is a central piece of guanxi relationships.  A post-graduate is always bound to listen to the advice of their parents in choosing a career.  Usually, a relative is the best hope for getting a good job due to their bonded relationship.

The role of filial piety does not end there for a recent graduate looking for a job.  In most cases graduates cannot move far away from their hometown in order to find a job.  I have a friend in Chongqing who is a very talented T.V. host for a children’s show.  She wishes desperately to be able to apply to work full time in Beijing as a T.V. host.  Her parents have forbidden this indefinite absence from her hometown of Chongqing.  Due to cultural expectations she cannot take the job and must remain in Chongqing.  These are but a taste of the role which guanxi and the importance of good relationships plays in Chinese society.

I like to always balance things in life in order to get a fresh perspective on them.  Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.  In this case, I shall forge ahead to galvanize the reader towards the power of freedom to make decisions in life.  Yes, the average United States citizen has none of those cultural constraints placed upon them in school.  Once a post graduate from college a person can do whatever they like.  We are even legally emancipated from our parents at the age of eighteen.  In order to be fair to myself I already knew most of these things before coming to China.  The thing which really interested me was experiencing this culture in order to make real valued inferences regarding choices.

I like to give examples as much as possible to keep myself focused on what is the central topic.  For example, I have always enjoyed hot-showers growing up in the United States.  In China, there are times when after ten minutes of trying to get the water-heater work that I finally managed to get the water temperature just right.  Afterwards I sit for about a minute or two in perfect revery; however, after a while I still find myself not satisfied.  I discovered that I wanted to make the temperature warmer.  Why could I not find happiness in this perfect temperature?   

At this point, you might be wondering as to how in the world does this relate to me coming to China, freedom versus destiny, and all of the other things I mentioned in the passage above.  Do not fear.  This was no mere digression.  I discovered that even though I could get the darn water-heater just right I soon became dissatisfied with this perfection and wanted to change the temperature again.  I discussed recently how I believe that humans lack the ability to discover what perfection is in life.  I now know this to be true in my own life from the experience of living in China.  This discovery has led me to analyze and balance my decisions process differently.

People in the United States have complete freedom to decide upon most things.  The real crux is that once they reach that thing in which they believe will make them happiest they rarely discover that the job, person, or thing turned out to be what they thought it would be.  People in China have so little freedom in which to choose things that they rarely even worry about such decisions.  However, I have found that people in China are in many cases as happy as people in the United States even without this freedom to choose.  They are happy for the little things in life that do truly matter in the course of a lifetime.  They are happy for their family, food, work, and shelter.  They enjoy an easy-going pace of life which allows them the freedom to spend time staring at rivers for hours.  I know because I have seen some people do this for hours.

How does this relate to my life?  I guess I finally am letting go of trying to reach perfection in life.  My sense of perfection is no less real than anyone else’s; therefore, there is no one positive perfect form.  Even in a religious sense I still like to think that this world was created perfectly for all creatures on earth.  I now feel comfortable in my own skin and relish this liberation from a self-worth built around walls of material things.  In my past life I believed that these things would make me happy.  I know now that they will only break me down as a person and work to diffuse the things that really do matter in life.  In many ways material things become a divisive breach against the people who do really matter in life.  When the two different things come into conflict in my lifetime I pray that I will always remember to choose the one that really matters.

In the vocational sense I believe that discovering that I do not need perfection will also help me.  I blamed myself after student teaching for not being able to relate to my students.  I left student teaching feeling great shame and a sense of failure.  Looking into the future I felt very confused and convoluted as to what job would help me find fulfillment.  In coming to China, I hoped to discover any of their tricks related to discovering what true happiness in life is. 

After some examination I believe that finding that the perfect job, girlfriend, body, mind, soul, etc does not exist in this world.  Sometimes people are able to find whatever they seek by dumb luck; however, the majority of people probably feel as frustrated as I did while searching for the perfect career teaching in high school.  Others suffer from the same sense of further desire to keep turning the temperature higher on the faucet while taking a shower.  The different circumstance are relatable because they both are things which at one time people wanted but soon discovered left them feeling unsatisfied.

 I believe now that true happiness does not come from things.  Happy people just live enjoyable lives, and true fulfillment can come in many different shapes and forms.  Jean Valjean certainly did not lead a happy life but was the most fulfilled individual on earth at the time of his death.   Placing value in perfect ideas that do not yet exist is not a wise thing to do.  I am a happy person and believe that in order to find fulfillment I should only look to lead a life which allows me to be happy.  If this means that I should follow Cory to teach in South Korea, stay another year in China, or look elsewhere for employment I will do so.  As long as I am happy I believe I will look back and find fulfillment in my life.  Suffering for no reason is masochism and I certainly have already felt like I did that enough to myself in my lifetime.  It is always better to value what we are now and do our best to remember it.  Regardless of freedom of choice or not people in China find many ways to live very happy and rewarding lives.  I discovered that I can live a much happier life by trying things out and seeing what happens.  I may not have that “destiny” career, girlfriend, etc, but I know now that this is okay!  I can be happy in life just by the way I live it and that will last me a lot longer than any job, rewards, money, things, etc.

On the very real and positive side of things I truly am enjoying teaching this semester.  I am finding that my improved Chinese language communication has helped me clarify things for my students.  I also believe that I helping them by seeing how difficult it is for me to try and speak Chinese with them.  Together, we are working in an environment of positive cultural exchange.  I feel that these positive experiences are helping me with my students’ attentiveness this semester.  It is most certainly improving their focus in the classroom.

I am learning a lot about Chinese culture through the eyes of their language.  People keep to themselves things that I and my friends would clearly voice.  Holding onto a person’s inner feelings is a critical piece of understanding Chinese culture.  It reflects there shame based cultural principles by demonstrating that it would be shameful to admit that there was something to worry about.  It is It is interesting to see that they have three different ways to say that something “does not matter” in their language.  This helps me in the classroom by helping my students to understand that in this situation my intention is honest.  I want them to work on speaking English and that is the only way in which they will be able to improve.

On the running front I am enjoying much more happiness by limiting the amount of time in which I go.  My runs are faster now and consume less time spent running which helps me enjoy more activities each day.  This one change in my everyday life style has allowed me to feel like a more balanced person.  Limiting my exposure to over training has also improved the strength of my body. 

When it comes to my improvements in using Chinese it is hard to impress upon the reader the strides in which I have made these past two months.  My Chinese has literally improved through perseverance as I have attended in that time period only three classes of Chinese instruction.  This along with my reinvigorated enjoyment for doing things which make me feel happy has allowed me to become a much friendlier person.  It has also allowed me to really focus on improving the one thing that still separates most from my Chinese culture, communication.  I am finding that communication is quite difficult even with a much improved vocabulary and sense of context because the Chinese speak their quite fast.  They also speak using their local dialect more often than using mandarin Chinese.  This leaves me often chasing my own tail when I am trying to converse with people.  It also allows me to appreciate the level of difficulty it takes to live in a world where you would be unable to communicate with people.  I am very thankful that I have Cory to chat with on a daily basis using English like I could communicate with an American back home.

I have recently read several great books.  I finished “Les Miserable’s” and “Mutant Message Down Under”.  Both books were great for different reasons.  “Les Miserable’s,” portrays the classics western cannon novel in a way which brought ever character to life for me.  I personally related to many of the personality traits which made Jean Val jean, Javert, and Father Gilormarand, such interesting people.

The novel, “Mutant Message Down Under” made me questions my values.  I believe that the lessons taught by the aboriginal tribe, “Real People”, relate correlational issues which current human society as a whole has missed.  These pieces relate to what I believe is the heart of the problem of finding happiness in life.  The Real People emphasis that all people are inextricably linked together by one central thing: Earth. 

The Real People live around the jaws of a vicious world each day.  This world for the Real People includes sweltering temperatures in the rugged Outback of Australia.  The Real People know that their survival is linked to the goodness of the earth.  They feel that humans most learn to conserve in order to have a healthy ecosystem.  That means that they only eat as much as they can at a time, pack light, and use their feet for transportation.  Far from fearing for their survival, the “Real People” frankly feel a great sense of peace in their life.  Their happiness comes from knowing that they live life to the fullest each day through non-competitive games, sharing, and enjoying the Earth’s natural beauty.

These people have no need for time as we know it.  They do not have important things that must get finished outside of daily life.  The Real People neither celebrate holidays or birthdays.  They do put an important emphasis on celebrations.  Every person in their tribe is known for some unique skill that they have acquired.  They will celebrate these skills with their group members at points in their life when they feel they have made an important addition to their skill. 

What a remarkable idea.  Celebrations when people feel generally happy to celebrate.  I also found it extremely interesting to discover that people change their names periodically throughout their life time to represent a new important aspect in their life.  For example, a “story teller” might add a title of “great” to their name if they have done some magnificent in their life.  A person might even want to add another talent to their repertoire making them a completely new expert in their community. 

These people have no need to be competitive within their own tribe and have no need for clothing.  Why hide who you truly are?  They also find it extremely revolting to think that a doctor could actually heal a person.  Only the body, God, or in this case “Eternal Oneness” would be able to heal a person.  A doctor can merely do what they can to try and help that person lessen their symptoms and suffering. 

They share so many interesting differences with normal human culture and yet they are extremely human at root.  They have taught me to remember each day that life is a miracle.

Possession and materialism are also quite strange ideas for these people.  I think that the history of the world has reached a unique point in time where these aboriginal people could no longer fit into our human society and co-exist.  I believe that neither group is correct in the manner in which life is experienced.  Rather, I feel that as a person it would be wise of me not to disregard their civilization’s 50,000 year old tradition as merely archaic.  I know that both groups are human and can learn from each other.

I think it would be wise to remember some of their advice regarding living everyday life.  Recognizing that each person has many unique gifts, that people are not supposed to dwell on negative things, and that life was not ultimately our choice, for example.

I am currently reading the novel, “Shogun” and am completely fascinated with Japanese society.  I will follow-up this blog with more interesting things that are happening right now in my life.  I am pondering the future and different possible routes to travel in life.  Currently, I am glad to have a strong support system in China as well.  Cory and I have truly become great friends during this experience and will continue be as we are both making important decision regarding our future.