Attempting to upload photos from Chengdu trip

Happiness, Chengdu vacation, relationships, ideas, and more!

·        Benefits of active living

Being active in my everyday life has invigorated my personality and love of life again.  On a daily basis I am finding that I am experiencing a much greater sense of balance which has positively contributed to my constitution.  These changes I can attribute to discovering that it was okay to admit to myself that I have problems with anxiety.  I believe that I can find a correlation between my negative disposition at times and the mishandling of anxiety.  This enlightenment has contributed to my belief that understanding oneself is essential to leading a healthy lifestyle.  I am conscious now of when I am getting anxious, situations that cause anxiety, and better preparation for these situations.  These have all greatly helped me dealing with my anxiety of late.  I am currently working on Dr. Weil’s breathing techniques and centering my mind while stretching following running to help relax myself.

My greatest gift and greatest curse in my life is anxiety.  It captivates me to push myself to do things which seem impossible to an outside observer.  It also pushes me to fulfill designs too great for myself at times and leaves me feeling hopeless and alone.  I am driven to depression when I feel like I am unable to meet these goals and propelled to great heights at the same time.  This juxtaposed biological existence has taught me to analyze everything in life.  I think constantly about everything which drives me to great discoveries as well as leaves me feeling hollow and not human in the same light.  These great discoveries alone have re-shaped my life as I work to find positive means for managing my anxiety at present.

My daily diet and exercise regiment are now in harmony once again.  The cooling of the weather here in Rongchang has really helped a great deal with my overall health as well.  I know that I have become quite a hypochondriac these days. I feel that this condition is necessary in China due to their overall lack of proper sanitation, poor air quality, dietary differences, etc.  With my mind and body in harmony I have found that my personality has also stabilized which has made social interaction better as well.  Basically I needed to discover that I cannot control my life and everything in it.  It is much more desirable to lead a balanced, happy, and goal-orientated life in harmony.

·        So much for teaching in September!

As for teaching I am sorry to say that I have not done very much of it lately.  To my chagrin the month of September only allowed me four total classes.  The termination of the freshmen military training and beginning of my normal teaching schedule should allow me to have a more stable teaching schedule.  The one upper-classmen class that I have been teaching thus far has been very enthusiastic to learning.  Their English level is advanced and I believe that we can touch on advanced topics and dialogue together which I look forward to.

·        Chinese holiday trip to Chengdu!

The Chinese national holiday afforded Cory and I time to travel to Chengdu for a four day vacation.  It was a trip that I was extremely looking forward to as it included an excursion to the Giant Panda research base.  Our journey to Chengdu began with a three-hour bus ride from Rongchang to Chengdu.  On the way an interesting American movie was shown that neither Cory nor I recognized at all.  The movie was probably from the early eighties and had something to do with an African safari which went wrong.  When we arrived we had to wait for about an hour to find someone who would take us from the bus station to the hotel.  After several credible taxi drivers balked at our request for a ride we were forced to take an undisclosed taxi who charged us 50 kuai for a ten minute ride.  The adventure did not end there as our hotel in which we booked our stay informed us that we had made an improper reservation because Cory used hostelworld.com.  After a little finagling we were able to get our four nights anyways which was a fortunate end to an interesting day of travel.  Just another adventure in China!

That night we walked around Chengdu city for a few hours.  I was shocked at the ease and slow pace of life for a city of over ten million inhabitants.  It almost felt like I was in a much larger Rongchang at times.  I went on a few runs from our hotel to the suburbs of Chengdu and was amazed at how quite it was on the edges of the city.  A totally different experience than I had previously known in any large city in China where the pace of life is as quick as back in the United States.

The next day we met up with Cory’s good friend Allen.  Allen was a previous acquaintance of Cory’s from his time studying abroad at Southwest University in 2008.  Upon meeting Allen we were both shocked to learn that he had married since 2008 and now was planning his wedding.  It is always interesting for me to experience the different life expectations between my peers in the United States and contemporaries in China where marriage is seen as a pre-requisite to adulthood.

Afterwards, Cory and I went walking around Chengdu’s city center where we took some pictures in and around Tianfu square.  We walked over and checked out the enormous People’s park adjacent to Tianfu square before returning to hotel to take a break.  We went to bed early that night in order to get up early for the following days’ Panda park tour.  That evening we enjoyed a delicious Pizza Hut pizza.  I have never been in a Pizza Hut in the United States that was as elegant as the one we went to in Chengdu.  I felt like I was eating at Maynard’s restaurant off the shore of Lake Minnetonka back in Minnesota.  The ambiance and service was quite astounding to me as I had yet to go to a Pizza Hut in China before.

The next morning we awoke early as we needed to travel across town in order to get to the hostel.  The early nature of our trip afforded us great timing to see the pandas actively eating and engaged.  Cory had previously been to the park and not witnessed the same kind of activity level that we were able to see on that morning.  Overall, it was a great success and I enjoyed being able to see both the giant and red panda’s eating.  The red panda adults also displayed an interesting mating and / or territorial display which I tried my best to catch on video.  The three hours that we spent at the park were utilized to the utmost as we explored great distances around the protected enclosure.

That afternoon we strolled back around Tianfu square and the very modern parts of Chengdu.  The design of the area was similar to Shanghai’s Nanjing shopping street except that there were twice as many people in Chengdu as in Shanghai.  I believe that the fact that we were traveling during the Chinese national holiday definitely contributed to the overcrowding of the area.  Still, besides the Forbidden City in Beijing I have not been surrounded by as many people in one place as I was in Chengdu at the time. Next, we explored a great distance by walking for the next three hours down to the majestic Chengdu river area.  As the day was beautiful I was struck by how peaceful everything seemed down in this very modern area of Chengdu.   That night Cory and I met up with some friends from the United States we met at the Panda Park for a little fun at the foreign bar, “Jellyfish”.

The next day was already our last in Chengdu. We took a little walk around the city and some local smaller parks on the way to getting directions for our return bus ride to Rongchang.  Even though we came into Chengdu at one bus station we were unable to use that same station for our return voyage.  Chengdu is a large city with many different bus lines; therefore, we needed to find the line that was furthest from the city proper running east.  We enjoyed an afternoon of shopping at one of the most unique small grocery stores I have seen in China.  “Sabrina’s” catered to Americans consumers specifically by having only exported American goods.  Cory and I both bought food items which we have never been able to find in China before.  That night we went out for one last night out with some friends from Rongchang who were staying with relatives in the Chengdu area.  An overall fun way to end a great trip!

That next day we went to the bus station a little tired and worn out from two nights’ worth of fun.  We found that the next available bus to Rongchang was not going to leave for two hours.  We spent the next two hours basically twit-tiling our thumbs at the bus station.  Living in China has taught me to be extremely patient with a transportation system which is not nearly as efficient as that in the United States.  Managing to get a bus ride back to Rongchang can be an arduous task as nearly fifty people usually line up at the counter entrance to the buses all ready to race for their seat.  Self-preservation over-rules order, politeness, and respect for others.  Nothing is routine in China.  I guess if I had to always fight in order to make sure that I got a seat on the bus I too would be extremely pushy, anxious, and ready to fight for my right my seat too.  Make no mistake, everyone already paid for their tickets beforehand but that does not mean you are guaranteed a seat on that fair. 

The bus back to Rongchang was completely full and Cory and I were unable to sit next to each other in our purchased seats.  I sat next to a small Child whose English name was Mary.  Over the course of the bus ride back we enjoyed a conversation in mostly Chinese because she was such a small child.  She struck up the courage of introducing herself which took me aback.  Most Chinese children will never do that because they are very shy and brought up with different cultural expectations.  I enjoyed helping Mary with her English homework and showing her my pictures I took in Chengdu.  Her father works in Chengdu and her mother lives in Rongchang which is why she was traveling on the national holiday.  I was amazed at the fact that no parent was on the bus with her and she was probably seven years old only.  There is a high level of comfort in China and there really is not a sense of crime which creates a false sense of security at times too.  I am sure that child-trafficking and other related crimes occur; however, these activities do not seem to manifest themselves into taking any extra precautions on the part of people here in Southwest and South-central China.  This is neither the last nor the first time that I have seen small children riding alone on buses in China.

·        Contract extension with Southwest University

The advent of a possible contract extension teaching with Southwest University has forced me to re-evaluate my life goals.  As I am in the process of trying to decide my future right now I am forced to ask myself many questions about what I want in life.  I feel that one year in China is truly not enough to understand the culture, language, and maximize my experience.  As all decisions have many unintended consequences I try to use different perspectives when analyzing things.  I know a few things for certain which finally helped me decide upon what I wanted to do.  I now have made so many friends, experienced so much, and believe that I am the luckiest person almost every day here which is great.

·        Opposite-sex relationships in China

Recently, Cory and I have been having issues dealing with the realities of the differences between China and American culture relating to relationships.  We have two friends who in the traditional sense of the way are looking to pursue boyfriend / girlfriend relationships with us.  The convoluted nature of the male brain at our age produces difficult choices when dealing with the fairer sex.  In one sense I enjoy Xiao Tang’s company which makes me want to pursue a relationship with her.  However, the reality is that I know that we both have different expectations in what a relationship should be which leaves me feeling like we should just be friends.  The matter gets more confusing when you add in the fact that Xiao Tang’s English is worse than my Chinese.  Along with other issues I feel that it is best that we both stay friends.  Cory and I will always enjoy both girls’ company but with barriers kept in mind!

This difficult communication has brought me to conclude that I really need to improve my Chinese language acquisition which I have been doing lately.  Even since my parents visited me in China I have been making great strides in sentence structure formation, vocabulary acquisition, and Chinese listening skills without formal classes.  Today my supervisor performed my first Chinese language class this year which raised my spirits tremendously.  I am proud of my strides I have made in the language and will continue to work at improvement.  The question is do I want to pursue the language to the level of proficiency or further?  Today, I believe that I want to achieve as high a level of Chinese language skills that I can in order to maximize my experience in China with a future career in mind.

I am very interested in learning more about how relationships between men and women have changed in China over the past one-hundred years.  In 1911, arranged marriages were made illegal for the first time in Chinese history.  Even one-hundred years later, signs of the pervasive nature of arranged marriages remain in Chinese society today.  Women and men remain connected to a neo-evolution of the traditional Chinese dowry.  B.M.W.  This phrase speaks volumes to the courtships process between men and women in Chinese culture. “B”, stands for “be”; “M”, stands for “my”; and “W”, stands for “wife”.  Showing a woman that you are a worthy husband includes owning a home, car, and a steady source of income.  Chinese women hold on to a very grandiose delusion of true love at first sight which is palpable in all forms of popular culture from music to fashion.  However, in order to fulfill that fantasy a proper male candidate should demonstrate their potential first with the proper pre-requisite ephemeral objects of affection.   

In Chinese culture the motivation for a relationship with the opposite sex is marriage.  A person must put in a lot of work ahead of getting into a relationship in China due to cultural expectations.  Both partners know what is at stake and truly believe that they are both looking for true love.  The manifestations of these deeper physical emotions remain hidden in order to save face in the hope of avoiding shame.  It is quite interesting for Cory and I to witness this phenomenon due to our different cultural expectations regarding opposite-sex relationships.

These ruminations and more are a taxing process at times and are causing me to want to unwind a bit.  I am finding that I again am going out with Cory and having fun which is great.  My greatest challenge is how to manage having fun while drinking only a little alcohol.  Chinese culture does not understand drinking in moderation.  It is all or nothing habit when it comes to alcohol and it is tough for me to explain why I do not like drinking that much.  Therefore, when I go out with Cory I drink and can maintain a balance which helps me to not reach a level of too much inebriation.  It is something that has greatly improved my emotions lately and I believe be a good way to have more fun.

·        A narrow world view

When analyzing a group of people one has to be hesitant to make generalization in fear of stereotyping.  In my time in China I have witnessed one single characteristic which inhibits close-mindedness to its zenith.  When a Chinese person sees an example of one thing they use it as a barometer to gauge all things.  It matters not what thing you are speaking about when analyzing this phenomenon.  For example it could be a specific type of person.  As people in China recognize me as a foreigner automatically they percolate to me like water leaking from a faucet onto the floor.  It is strange for them to try and break free of this very simplified analytical level of understanding when it comes to analyzing who is a foreigner in China. 

Nowhere is this more prevalent then with differences between Cory and me in the eyes of a Chinese person.  It does not matter how old, wise, or worldly the person maybe before first seeing Cory and I.  Their automatic first assumption is that he is 100% Chinese.  Now I can understand if you make a misjudgment.  I do it all of the time even when I try my best to not say something ignorant or arrogant.  However, the misunderstanding induces the effect of being incredulous of Cory and his background to the point that it becomes uncomfortable.  I have no other way of trying to describe the lasting influence of object permanence in the mind of a Chinese person.   Even after Cory and I both verify that he is American 99% of the people look at us like we are crazy, lying, or possibly even spies.

·        Tow ruminations of late

I have made two great analytical jumps the past two weeks which I would like to share which I find fascinatingly simple yet remarkably important.  The first is the idea of being magnanimous in defeat.  I realize that it is very easy to be magnanimous in victory and the true testament of a person is how they behave in defeat.  In defeat, a person is forced to reflect on their current situation and either change or revert back to their past ways.  The people in the world who overcome great obstacles have this one trait of perseverance which was omnipotent to their future success.

The second thought I had recently while running was that technology is going to reshape the world in ways in which no one will fathom in the future.  Even the brightest minds will be unable to know for certain in what ways technology will work for good or evil purposes.  I for one believe that technology is a double sword interweaving both great innovation and corrosive effects on society.  The reality is that it is impossible to remove the negative effects without tampering with progress and change.  My great hope is for intelligent people to be clairvoyant and do their best beforehand in adapting technology to everyday life in positive ways.

  It is really the unintended consequences of relying too heavily on technology which can leave the greatest effects on a person.  These effects are what concern me the most in regards to the well-being of humanity.  It may be something as unavoidable as going to work and sitting on a computer for eight hours a day.  All I hope is that people will adapt with technology by keeping in mind what is truly important in life.  I for one believe that human interaction tops any short of technologic manifestation on the market today. 

I am most interested in how technology has, is, and will change culture in the world today.  The advent of accelerated technological advancement has brought vastly different cultures into greater contact faster than in any other time in the history of mankind.  I believe that our existence is totally shaped by our inherent culture, family, friends, socio-economic status, and has been for our entire human history.  The greatest change to this pervading trend has been technology in the past fifty years.

  People have access to what is hip and trendy across the world today.  Ideas are spreading and changing places as vastly different as America and China with the speed of a mouse click on the computer.  How these changes are currently influencing culture is what I am greatly interested in studying in the future.  Will cultures becoming more similar?  Or will these changes cause people to break further apart in a hope to maintain anonymity?  Examples of both can be seen in the world today.  Understanding why these two extremely different solutions to technology occur can be the difference between peace and war and that is why it matters to me.

·        A happy arrival!

On another happy note my parents sent me an enormous package filled with clothes, supplies, food, etc.  This parcel filled me with great joy and a brand new wardrobe which I was in dire need of.  My clothes here in China had seen their better days and I was extremely pleased to be able to once again choose between different clothing options.  I have found that diversity in food, clothing, ideas, etc are some of the greatest differences between Chinese and American culture.  This is something which is unique to American culture and totally shapes the way that I see the world in every sense of the word.

Best,

E.K.