I had an absolutely rollercoaster month thus far in September. I have been quite busy and feel that I have much I would like to share with all of you. As always my blog will feature the people, thoughts, and important things which encapsulated my most recent experiences. I had a rough and good month for growing as a person. I suffered two physical setbacks which allowed me to grow immensely as a person. I also made an important discovery which I believe is the key to understanding myself as a person. Everything in my life is connected to this single aspect. Finally realizing the reality of my existence has major ramifications for my future. I also have been starting up teaching this September with a bang and enjoying the ride. I am very excited about this next semester and have made adapted my syllabus to feature some important modifications for teaching this year. Cory and I also had a great trip into Chongqing this past weekend where we greeted some great friends from our past while building new friendships in the future!
Focused teaching: Curriculum changes and adaptations to meet student needs
Reflection usually follows a period of convalesce in life. In my case, two cases of heat exhaustion in a week forced me to truly take a long look at myself. I focused mainly on my mental, physical, and spiritual state at present. During this down time from physical activity I took time to reconnect with friends and co-workers at school. The advent of fall brought with a new steady stream of eager and curious students and the impending new semester of teaching. These forces created in me a great desire to improve my teaching and units from the previous year. Due to the intense mandatory freshmen military training for I have only had one class thus far of sophomores to teach. Therefore, I have been really able to focus on improving my units, taking input from students, and adjusting my curriculum in favor of my students’ goals this semester.
My students really wanted to learn as much as they could regarding a variety of topics which I will duplicate in list form: Minnesota (local customs, daily life of parents, typical food), eating etiquette, friendship, dating, relationships, marriage, travels I have taken in the world, recent U.S. history, economy in U.S., veterinarians in U.S., animals, pets, and environmental protection, U.S. geography, national parks, and vacation locations in U.S., College life in U.S., education differences between U.S. / China, popular culture, and U.S. culture. I am extremely pleased to have this variety of topics to cover in my class this year and look forward to working with my sophomore class especially. The sophomore class is full of marketing majors, business, and others who are preparing to take a test to measure their English ability this year. I believe that I can best help them in doing this by offering them extra help outside of the classroom. With the addition of one of our PCV’s, Ali, we are going to be trying to get an “English corner” up and running at our University. Hopefully, this will become a place where students can feel safe and comfortable practicing their English with other friends outside of the classroom!
The arrival of the new semester culminated in three different faculty, staff, and department dinners with the University. In each meal I enjoyed the palpable excitement from attendees present. Knowing dinning etiquette, toasting expectations, the food, and different cultural aspects greatly enhanced my understanding of how I should interact with each member from the University. I refrained from drinking alcohol from a fear of the negative reactions I might have with my health and recovery. This with drawl from a major aspect of male Chinese celebration did not limit my experience in the least bit as I was toasted with tea and water often enough. Cory and the new foreign P.V.C, Ali, were also in attendance and both had great experiences as well. During this period I had an important reverie which forced upon me to accept a few things in life again. My selfish idealism exacerbated by my idleness and isolation this past summer created in me a fixation with reaching my goals.
I discovered that my priorities had become unbalanced during my summer alone in China. I do not blame myself for focusing on my running, reading, and writing too much. I know that at the time I felt that these were all worthy goals and deserved a great deal of attention to be paid to them. Unfortunately, I became obsessed with the steady progress of these goals which began to cost me in my experiences this summer. I lost sight of what was important in my life and found that I could not have focus myself completely on reaching my goals at the expense of my personal happiness. My periodical depression this summer drove home this point to me clearly enough. However, I was still unable to understand why I was focusing so greatly on my goals and not on experiencing China and all of the wonderful things I have enjoyed here.
I soon realized that I was using things like excessive running to calm myself. With advice from family and friends the prevailing advice was that I was a person who has a great deal of anxiety in life. Finding ways to positively release that energy without harming myself in the future became one of my major tasks to work on. Being able to finally realize and start understanding my anxiety has made my life happier. I now finally am starting to realize situations when I become anxious and ways of actively alleviating the stressors which are obstructing me. This fresh lens into my personality has been a great break through for me. I am now able to understand myself so much greater as a person and appreciate why I truly need to work on finding ways of balancing myself and stress in my life.
I would rather not dwell on the past and re-construct all of the many impediments which I encountered along the way to this great breakthrough. I am pleased to have finally put an important piece in the puzzle regarding my personality in place. I believe that summarizing what I discovered regarding living for only selfish goals in life will do enough for my reader. Living with goals in life are great and a worthy way of reaching successes in life. However, when these goals become the single greatest fixation a person has in life they must take a moment to look at things in a greater picture in life. My heat related exhaustion forced me into a deep period of reverie. I would suggest avoiding any and all physical ailments if possible. Going just a little too far can be the difference between life and death in some cases.
Heat Related illness or diabetes?!?!
The greatest reason why I took a long time to continue my chronicles here in China was fear that I might actually have suffered an attack of hypoglycemia caused by adult onset of type one diabetes. Mr. Tian took me to one of the best hospitals in Chongqing (xi nan yi yuan) which measure my blood glucose levels after taking a glucose powdered substance. Yesterday, I went back ready for any news. I really did not know whether my condition was related to heat exhaustion or the beginning of type one diabetes.
The Xi nan yi yuan is a daunting building to enter for any foreign. Upon entry a person becomes completely surrounded by hundreds of Chinese residence. I had to re register in order to have my results read by the doctor. I brought with my passport, residence permit, hospital ID card, and personal medical history in case of the worst. After registration a process of health care so different from any experience I had had in the States was about to turn me into a reality game show contest in nervous anticipation from my resultant examination.
After Mr. Tian checked me into the blood examination center we were handed the results from my test to take to the doctor’s office. After waiting for about three minutes we entered the doctor’s office in front of a group of five. After we exchanged pleasantries the doctor looked over my paperwork. My anxiety could not have been greater. I literally felt like I was waiting to hear if I won a million dollars or would be sentenced to prison for life. It is truly hard to fathom how extremely different healthcare is in the U.S. from China.
The doctor looked over my results and quickly retorted that, “I was fine, no diabetes”. I threw my hands in the air and said, “Yes”! My excitement soon turned to horror as he still needed to read the following four sheets of paper. What if the other results were bad? At the end he told me that I was fine and needed to balance my diet and exercise around the weather conditions. Five minutes with the doctor and basically complete closure was reached from his analysis. Back in the U.S., I would have had to wait in the doctor’s lobby, had my vitals checked, and had a ten minute discussion with the doctor on my results. The doctor would have come prepared already knowing my results and not felt in the least inclined to share them with anyone else. In China, healthcare maximizes efficiency at the cost of all personal pleasantries, comforts, psychology, etc.
Chongqing weekend!
We left Rongchang for Chongqing Saturday following my tutoring session. I have found that tutoring has been a positive way for me to help someone in need, teach, add income, and learn more about Chinese culture. Afterwards, Cory and I took the bus into Chongqing to being our three day visit. Cory and I had an unbelievable time last weekend in Chongqing which started out with a mysterious new twist. After being dissatisfied with our last hostel experience in Chongqing we located another one with an even closer proximity to Jai Fang Bei. We arrived but were unable to find our hostel for about forty minutes due to its isolated location! Fortunately, we endured and finally met our objective only to discover that in the beginning we were less than 100 feet from our hostel from the opposite entrance! Happy to have finally arrived checked in to start out another great weekend in Chongqing.
We stayed at a new hostel which was tucked into one of the smaller residential areas near the old city wall. We meet up with friends every day and experienced a nice break from our routine schedule back in Rongchang. Saturday evening Cory and I went out to dinner with two friends. One friend Cory had known for over four years since their last encounter while studying abroad in China! Her friend was named Star (xing). Because she was quite small her nickname was (xiao xing). I enjoyed walking with her and telling her to be careful which would translate (xiao xin, xiao xing)! Afterwards, we meet up with our two old friends Jack and Lance for a night of downtown entertainment.
The next afternoon we enjoyed a KTV singing, drinking, and eating afternoon with my good friends Emma and Michael. Emma brought with her roommates who also enjoyed the festivities and dinner following our exhausted voices. Nothing compares to the endurance of trying to pace yourself during a five hour KTV singing afternoon! That evening Cory and I went to bed early which allowed us to read and watch Pirates of the Caribbean at our hostel.
We really had no plans on Monday which allowed for us to enjoy a nice period of rest and relaxation walking in and outside of malls in the Jai Fang Bei city center. Our enjoyment was high when we went to our old bowling spot at the fifth floor of the Metropolitan mall. Nothing beats being inside on a rainy day in Chongqing. By this point the weather had cooled significantly as well which left me totally unprepared by not packing any warm clothes. Cory sagaciously had brought jeans and a long sleeve shirt with him. I unfortunately was left tucking in my shirt and wearing a baseball cap for warmth. That evening we had an awesome meal with Cory’s longtime friend, Lili. Afterwards we shared a nice beer and called it quits early due to walking up early for my morning doctor’s appointment at the Xi nan yi yuan.
Les Miserables: class conflict in America and the world today
I am currently reading Les Miserables. The book is such a masterpiece that I want to soak in every idea, situation, and feeling which Hugo pointedly portrays. I am constantly thinking about how the book relates to other societies in the world today. Reading this book has captured my imagination and allowed me to make correlational inferences with the pending debt crisis’ ramifications for Americans. I am currently very troubled by the lack of compromise in the U.S. right now due to the extreme polarization of opinions.
Les Miserables covers a point of French history dating from the post 1789 revolution. The chronology recounts period of the White Terror of 1793, the rise of Republicanism, Napoleon, the Restoration, and post restoration tension in French society. Clearly, Victor Hugo portrays societies down-trodden as lacking necessary financial support from the state. Without such welfare the French lower classes fell into destitution, decay, crime, and starvation. Hugo is another author in the wake of the existential era in Europe. He believes that people are products of their own situation and truly anyone would go to such lengths in they were forced into such plights. Hugo also believes in rehabilitation through religious awakening as his main character, Jean Valjean, turns his life around after he meets a monk following serving nineteen years in prison in Toulon, France. Hugo elucidates his beliefs that the French people have forgotten their morals and have failed to recognize that the richest class does not have the best in mind for the whole of France’s society.
When thinking about how this might impact my opinions regarding America today I am forced to ask this simple question. Who is an America? If the American constitution states that every America citizen has the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness than I take those words at face value. I also feel that if the constitution believes that government should be the right of the people than our politicians have a duty to honor all of their constituent’s voices. Since we do not have a direct democracy and our country is over 310,000,000 people this becomes an arduous task. However due to technology today this task may not be as difficult as I make it out to be. If modern polling can predict the ideals of Americans today than a cross-sectional analysis should provide a clear picture of what needs to be done.
Clearly, when people forget what made us a great country America will exist in name only. I do not believe that anything less than a compromise can achieve some sort of balance between the many different groups of Americans who live today. If a person looks objectively at some of these questions they are forced to realize that they alone do not have all of the answers. I believe that these types of exercises are healthy in creating a wider view of the world today. Surely, we cannot speak for all in the world today. Therefore, can one group speak for all in the U.S. leaving everyone else to become mere obstructions? If the majority of people polled today are asking for their politicians to come up with a compromise should they be denied by selfish leaders who are only concerned with winning another election? Where has the vision for our great nation gone? Can one group be all right while the other one is all wrong? The real question that people should be asking is what forces are really causing this tension within America and who are supporting them and who is founding them? Clearly, the groups funding them must have an inherent bias to do so with an invested interest which is probably related to saving their own skin.
When looking into many of these rhetorical questions I feel disheartened to think that some people today still believe in enforcing universal rights. If people in the same country cannot even agree on something as important as its future than how can people across the world agree on binding resolutions? One of the great problems which come out of any conflict which is meaningful is that people attempt to place blame on others. I often want to put some blame on someone too so I can feel that I have washed my hands of it all; however, blame never solves problems and leads to greater conflicts later on. Blaming people is also a very shallow pursuit because it usually revisits the past in a revisionist manner. In an effort to paint a new narrative of the past authors paint a picture of the past usually without mentioning the extenuating circumstances, the poor decision making beforehand by previous leaders, and the actually benefits of the decision which was made at the time. I never have known anyone to make a decision which they actually felt would hurt their own invested interests.
Another factor which is bothering me in America today is the fact that people still want to argue over whether trickle-down economics or welfare programs are better in solving an economic crisis. Obviously, neither one works that well because we find are selves back looking at the same problems again and again. Instead of always looking at are problems in a vacuum a person may find better answers as to why the economy became stagnant in the first place. Those responsible tend to get away with their greed, excess, and exploitation in the world. It is unfortunately a story as old as time.
My experiences walking around the Chongqing malls this past weekend induced me to ask a question which has drastic ramifications in our changing world today. Can people today really believe that unbridled greed is good? Walking across various Cartier, Louis Vutton, and many other fancy stores I felt a sense that I was in anyone other area of Western Europe or America. I know realize that even a place like China will soon become as greedy as the Western world has. With countries like India, China, and Brazil all picking up the reins of the failing world economy they have found that they too are strong and can demand the same resources as the Western world has for centuries.
It dawned on me that the world can probably not handle another half of the total population consuming as the United States is today. With all of these forces at play I believe that our world may turn into one filled with pollution, wars of resources, massive inequalities, starvation, and even possible extinction. There is probably enough food in the world to feed everyone, resources to help the needy, and technology to improve our ways of doing the first two necessary services to achieve balance. If we do not meet those needs than there are going to soon be much worse problems than a little class warfare back in America. Those people who have in the world today should become mindful of the billions that are without any of their everyday luxuries such as safe drinking water, electricity, safety, transportation, etc. Without such changes I fear that we may destroy ourselves in our own greed.
I am extremely happy that I am able to sit down and write all of these things. I know that I may not ever become a great person today, but I am living satisfied that I am writing and living my life as I have always wanted to. Being alone in a foreign country is a tough thing to do and forces a person to really understand survival. I have learned a lot of things about myself and the world and am looking forward to even better experiences tomorrow!
I am always constantly amazed at how my life and experiences have shaped my own existence. My Chinese friends ask me so many questions about what it means to be an American today and how my everyday life is like back in the states. Even with many of their dreams being repressed such as (travel, society without major responsibilities as a young adult, and society without guanxi limitations) they want to learn all they can about me. Even with being terribly afraid that they will make a mistake in the classroom they still perform with courage and show great character in their determination to one day visit or study in the United States!
Best,
E.K.
