Sunday morning came upon me abruptly as I was jolted out of a nice morning’s dream from a phone call. Mr. Tian voice announced that both Cory and I were invited to interview a special student looking to study in the United States next year. We were both asked to communicate with him and write recommendations on his behalf to complement his high test scores. Upon arriving at the beautiful and traditionally decorated tea house we were both introduced to the prospective student’s parents. Mr. Tian also had some special high school classmates with him who were mutual friends of the family. As the parents began chatting Cory and I began our interview.
We discovered that not only was this student quite intellectually gifted but also had an impressive English vocabulary. His worldview was quite interesting also as we asked him to explain why he wished to study in the United States to receive a master’s degree. His answer was simple and yet profound for its impact on me remains as I am writing today. He wished to come to the United States to learn some new ideas and perspectives of the world. He expressed his love for his country, but he also expressed a rare desire to take some unique ideas learned abroad to promote efficiencies in China. When I talk to Chinese students about studying abroad they often express a desire to experience American culture, find freedom, or a variety of other more scripted responses. I have never heard a student so eloquently state that exchanging ideas was the most important reason for studying abroad.
I found it incredibly fascinating that I shared many of this student’s initiatives when I came to China. I find it reassuring that there are other people who also care about learning from other cultures. Promoting transparency and openness to learn with other cultures is the only way to true cultural awareness. If I came disingenuously to China I know that I too would have been part of the problem and not solution. Still, I know that this hope of mine is important and relevant today. In a world filled with war, death, famine, etc it is those who that continue to work for a better tomorrow that matter.
A modern day example of this kind of tireless fight comes from the democratic activist Aung San Suu Kyi. She continues to fight for the ability of free and transparent elections in a country dominated by a military regime for decades. She continues to fight for change even while being under house arrest since 1989. She was even denied the ability to see her husband in a foreign hospital for fear that the military would never let her re-enter Myanmar. These are the kind of people who give strength to me when I start to feel like things are not going well in my life. I think it is always important to be able to look up to people who promote ethical values regardless of who they are.
I made an observation while reading the wonderfully interesting novel, “Shogun” the other day that I thought I would share with you all. While reading Shogun it dawned on me that western cultures value time so much more than eastern cultures do. Shogun is written about Japan in the late 17th century; nonetheless I think I can find some correlational similarities between other Asian cultures. In my experience, people in China could really care less about making solid plans for the future. I believe this to reflect in part the importance of Buddhism on eastern cultures. If a person is going to be reborn anyways what is the rush to get this life over with anyways? I have often received very passive responses from people when I try to get things moving forward and details made regarding the future.
For example, Cory and I are planning on traveling to South East Asia following the end of the fall semester here in China. Mr. Tian’s niece has been working to try and get us a ticket for S.E. Asia for over two months with no success. The reason why? Apparently tickets have not yet been pre-arranged for the trip we wished to take. As frustrating as this can be at times Cory and I actually were very lucky to have such a protracted delay. We had decided that we wanted to travel to Malaysia, Thailand, and Vietnam this winter. Thailand is suffering the worst flooding in fifty years right now which has caused us to forgo Thailand, unfortunately. However, we both feel fortunate due to the fact that if we would have been in the States we would both have already had tickets months earlier making our situation even more precarious now that we would want to dump them… karma perhaps?
Regardless, compared with eastern cultures people in the west have always been very concerned with time ever since the dawning of Christianity. In Christianity, people feel that there one life is a complete gift and that they must not miss a second of it in order to take full advantage of it. Some Christians are afraid of the consequences of their actions; whereas, others are just more concerned with having fun and avoiding work in this life.
In my experience the strangest manifestation of differences in time value is the two and a half hour siesta break which perpetuates Chinese culture. The other day I was trying to set up a tennis match with a friend and she reminded me that she would not be able to play at one in the afternoon. The reason? Her tennis instructor who was going to play with us would be sleeping. What college coach in America would be talking a nap at one p.m. in the afternoon on a Tuesday? I can think of none unless they were on vacation.
In the 21st century technology, foreign politics, and an incredibly interconnected world has brought these two vast dichotomies of thought together. I believe that in order to promote cultural understanding both ways of thought are going to need to find a way to work together. That is one of the major reasons that I am here and I was reminded of it the other day by a new friend.
A message was left for me on Facebook the other day by a person looking to befriend me based only on my experiences in China. She had noticed that I was messaging a friend using Chinese and was curious about my experiences in China. During a pre-arranged Skype conversation I discovered that she was incredibly interested in finding a teaching job in China following graduation. I learned that she had already been to China and just wanted to get some ideas and contacts regarding employment in China. I was incredibly drawn by her passion and excitement. I enjoyed laughing together regarding common experiences, ideas, and passion for China. It was an overall re-affirming conversation for me to have at that time. I have since become reinvigorated and driven to re commit myself to my goals in China.
One such goal has always been the creation of a comprehensive Chinese to English dictionary. I have been spending a great deal of time on it recently and successfully added a great amount of information. I was happy to have Cory’s wealth of knowledge and notes from his previous Chinese college courses to help me in this pursuit. I have since added situational experiences and key words, phrases, and ideas to my dictionary. Some of the concepts I have included are going to the restaurant, shopping, activities, feelings, expressions, verbs, animals, foods, plants, sports, buildings,vehicles, etc.
One of the most interesting things that I can never underestimate is the importance of eating in Chinese culture. I was told once that China is a “table” culture and I left wondering what exactly that meant. I can safely say that after spending nine months here that I believe every word of it to be true. Great decisions are constantly being made while in the midst of eating. The importance of upholding proper table meal protocol is strictly enforced in these types of meals. The guests are expected to sit on the left side of the host who sits facing the door. On the host’s right side are close friends and family members. In these types of meals there are quite a lot of libations being served. The featured spirit is “baijiu” which is as fierce of liquor as “ever-clear”. After a dozens of toasts from the host, guests, family members, etc only the fierce, brave, or clever are able to leave feeling level headed. The food itself is quite delicious; however, the host continues to have food brought at an incredible rate even though maybe half of it will get eaten. At all meals of this type of magnitude there are always leftovers. In my experience, most meals have more food left un-eaten afterwards than the actual food consumed during the meal itself!
Business is decided and arranged during meals. There is no traditional meeting setting such as we have back in the United States to negotiate deals. All important meals will include business discussions where the final decision is a binding resolution sealed through a round of toasting. I am certain that it is very wise to come prepared in these meals with exactly you need to say beforehand. In my previous twenty-three years in America I have never seen as many formal meals end in almost drunken oblivion before. As an outsider I try my best to only drink when supposed to. My only real goal is to never get intoxicated in this type of setting even if it is the norm for many of the other guests. In a worst case scenario, it is always better to have your wits about yourself especially in a foreign country.
In class recently we have been discussing different relationships and comparing them between the two cultures. Overall, it has been a very good lesson and I have learned a lot more about Chinese culture by discussing with my students. China is a guanxi culture which emphasizes maintaining specific relationships. If you are able to build strong relationships with the right people you are cemented in your position forevermore. Confucius’s role in Chinese culture is still very strong even today and the importance of honoring fililal relationships is incredibly important. For example, the naming of new born children is still decided by the grandparents and not the maternal parents. The new parents are only able to offer some choices for their kin to select from.
I am sorry for the delay of this blog as I fogot to publish it a few weeks ago!
Best,
E.K.
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