Summer 2012: A Time of Great Changes

 

                                The summer of 2012 was the first time that I had returned home since moving to China to teach English in February of 2011.  To be honest, that first summer back from China was a surprising experience for me.  In one regard I was extremely happy to be back home with family and friends after having such a long absence from their lives.   On the other hand, I could not help but notice that I still found myself longing for the adventure of living abroad. 

 

                                One of the first things that I noticed once I returned home was how grateful I was for the simplest things in my life back in the United States.  For example, just being able to drive a car to and from errands, the gym, or a party was truly a gift of convenience.  During the first couple of weeks back in the United States I definitely experienced reverse cultural shock. 

 

                                It was a hard time for me since none of my friends spare Cory Quirk-Becker had ever gone through an experience such as I had just finished.  No matter how hard I tried to accept the differences I just could not find a way to accept them without talking to someone else.  I guess that is the Irish part of my personality trying to express itself again...

 

                                In the end, since I could not find someone else who I thought had similar experiences to my own I did what all good Norwegians do, I told no-one.  Some of the more difficult issues I found resolving revolved around the differences in sensory stimulation.  For example, I became strikingly aware of how few people there were in Minnesota compared to where I had lived in China.  Clearly, before living in China minor differences such as this would not have left an indelible mark on me.  Over time, these types of observations began to make me feel alienated with myself and even in certain circumstances created a feeling of morose displeasure at knowing how ignorant I had been before moving to China.   

 

                                While living at home I also noticed how I had made a lot of assumptions regarding things while I was living in China.  In retrospect, my assumptions turned out to be correct only about half of time.  One of the first things that I noticed was that my friends' mannerisms did not change while I was living abroad.  I was also surprised to discover how some other things had changed a lot since I had been away.  One change which disheartened me greatly was seeing my Grandfather seemingly wasting away in front of me.  By this point his eighty-four years of life were starting to wear him down physically, and it became apparent that he did not have much time left on this earth.  Grandpa was always one who seemed to have an infinite amount of energy regarding all tasks in life.  Honestly, seeing his weakness was a humbling experience for me and forced me ask myself if I really did want to continue my experience living in China.

 

                                After talking with many of my former acquaintances regarding my time abroad I soon found that some people had a lot more knowledge on China than I had expected; however, the vast majority of people did not know much about the place that I had spent a year and a half of my life in.  In some rare cases I noticed that people held contempt for China or had somewhat narrow views regarding the people I had grown to empathize with over the course of my time abroad.  In those rare cases I tried to summon my greatest forbearance possible and attempt to dispel as many stereotypes, prejudices, and biases as possible.

 

                                The final and most encompassing change that I became aware of was that I had truly changed.  Nothing that had happened to me in China was going to completely change the person who had spent the vast-majority of their life in a predominately white middle class community.  Looking back on it today I am glad that those roots are too deep to ever be uprooted.  Philosophically speaking, I think that this awareness argues that even novel experiences do not have the power in themselves to change a person unless that person is also willing to change too. 

 

                                From my new perspective, I felt that I would nevermore be able to see the world in a way that did not include a different lens, viewpoint, or synthesis after living in China.  Please do not take the above statement to conflate the idea that I now see the world from only a Chinese or American perspective; rather, I tend to now be much more skeptical of all things I hear at first and only make a decision on where I stand after careful observation of the facts.

                               

                                Unfortunately, as soon as I seemed re-acclimated with life in the United States it was time for me to move on again.  Throughout life I have noticed a desire in myself to maintain the present before facing the inevitable winds of change.  This visceral love of consistency seems to be innately desired from most humans.  I think that most honest people will tell you that they struggle when facing the challenges of unwanted change in life.  At least, in my case the approaching change was all part of a planned journey that I had charted for myself when I decided to return to China for the 2012-13 academic year.