An Unexpected Meeting...

 

                                During the semester I began holding tutoring lessons on the weekdays at one of the campus' nearby coffee shops, Coffee Dream (咖梦).  This particular coffee shop was frequented by many foreigners living in Beibei which gave it a distinctly international feel compared to some of the other establishments near campus.  Another unique fact about Coffee Dream is that the owner is a retired Korean-American entrepreneur.  Both of these unique traits combined to create an atmosphere which promoted cross-cultural exchange between Chinese and foreigners.

 

                                During one of these aforementioned "study" sessions I was blessed to meet the great person, 陈诗文 whose English name is Lainey.  At this point in my development my Chinese language skills had already progressed to conversational; furthermore, I also felt confident enough to engage anyone I wanted to in Chinese.  Regardless if it was really unwarranted hubris or confidence, I was extremely excited to use my Chinese skills at this point in my experience living in China.

 

                                During this fateful night I chose to engage the personable Lainey and a friend of hers in their mother language of Chinese.  Although I was tired from a hard day of work and study I was definitely aware of Laney's quiet forbearance as she patiently allowed me room for error while speaking about more abstract topics.  During the conversation I was also struck by her desire to engage me in her mother tongue instead of trying to speak to me in English.  I guess after spending a lot of time in China I really appreciated the fact that she would grant me the opportunity to speak with her in Chinese.  In my mind, there is no greater respect you can pay a person than to use their mother language while engaging them in conversation.  Being able to share this gift with Lainey was truly special to me during this time.

 

                                I was equally captivated by her personality and enjoyed hearing about some of her unique experiences while studying abroad in South Korea.  At the age of twenty-three her prospects were bright as she was already tri-lingual and had been accepted into a graduate program in Seoul, South Korea.

 

                                Even with all of these aforementioned characteristics, I was above all attracted to her enthusiasm for life.  Lainey is a person who exudes positivity in all faucets of life.  At that time in my life I was really missing Lainey's proclivity towards fun, excitement, and extroverted personality.  Since she had all of those personality traits in abundance spending time with her was always a blast for me.

 

                                Feeding off of the positive energy of the conversation I gathered up the courage to ask her out on an informal date.  Now, since losing face is really inappropriate in a public setting in Chinese culture, I guess I should not have been surprised that Lainey would have at least feigned interest at an incoming admirer.  Even with that being said I definitely felt that there was a deeper connection between us at the time, and would have been let-down if she would have turned down my offer for dinner the following week.

 

                                At the conclusion of the second date I knew things were going in the right direction, and to my pleasure I was able to once again find greater meaning in life while spending time with Lainey.

 

                                As the status of our relationship changed from "dating" to a "couple" we continued to find happiness in each other's company.  Nonetheless, I can truthfully say that during this period of time I really began noticing some of the changes which couples go through as the "your perfect" honeymoon begins to wear off. I will not attempt to bore you with the banal details around some of the more trivial disputes we engaged upon.  In truth, the more minute the dispute the more ludicrously we both seemed to want to argue out our opinion as if every word would make our viewpoint more reputable.

 

                                In all honesty, these disputes did not start to creep into our relationship until the unrealistic yet inevitable "your perfect" phase started to wear off between us.  It seems that humans truly do have an innate desire to argue amongst one another, and sadly this is no less true when in the presence of those you care about.  Even with all of the aforementioned negativity, I can still say that most days and times in her company were extremely happy for me.