Once I had
returned to the United States it did not take me too long to realize that
maintaining our long distance relationship was going to be extremely difficult
for me. Even in the beginning, the
thirteen-hour time difference between Minnesota and South Korea seemed to be a
difficult obstacle for me to overcome. Overtime,
I noticed a positive correlation between the decreasing lengths of our
conversation on Skype and the lessening degree in which I thought about our
relationship in my daily life.
By this point, I
forced myself to take some time to really think about the harsh turn reality
was taking in my life. Since the direction
of our relationship seemed to be going in a negative one I knew that it was
time for me to turn to reflection, prayer, and guidance in regards to moving
forward in life. Together it became
clear to me that it was time to accept the reality in front of me and do the
right thing.
Writing this
portion of the blog has really helped me to put a finger on the necessity of
this difficult decision: COMPASSION. If
I had every really cared for this individual then I had a responsibility to
free her from a dead-end path in which our relationship was currently heading
on. Since I am as egocentric of an
individual as most humans I also was concerned about my own self-efficacy
moving forward. Thus, I had made my
final-decision and now was going to have to implement my plan of action in the
most humane way possible. I was going to
tell the truth.
In hopes of
being able to leave Lainey with some sense of pride I tried to explain the
logic of my reasoning as clearly as possible.
Despite of our best efforts to strike a pacific chord in life our
protestations often times fail to hit the mark in reality. In my case, this could not have been closer
to the truth as my first messages resulted in confusing more than enlightening
Laney. Over the course of several
clarifying messages we were both able to finally realize that our break-up was
truly the only possible solution to the current state of affairs between us.
In hindsight, I
am extremely grateful to have had such a great learning, caring, and rewarding
experience with Lainey. In the course of
my personal maturation, I am certain that I have not matured more in as short
of a time as I did with Laney. I can say
with great certainty that I am today a more whole person for the
experience. Therefore, I must say it
once more, thank you Laney for everything!
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